BACK TO SCHOOL, ARE YOU READY?

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Oh No! It’s resumption again!
I dread resumption period, ever since primary school I always wished I could skip the first day of school, most times my wishes come true, I could pretend I just got afflicted with an incurable illness just to skip the first day of school.
I used to dread going to school the first day school resumes because:
– I fear all my friends would suddenly pick a fight with me over what I did, have done or would do. I walk towards the class with the image of my friends gathered in a corner planning my death in a painful, reckless way. Ow!
– I hate cleaning, my room is in jeopardy right now, in schools I have attended the cleaners and the sweepers would mysteriously disappear on the first day of resumption and the hapless punctual serious smart students who resumed early would be the one to do the dirty work, work which would end up ruining your sparkling white new socks, work that’d make sweat slid from your armpit nonstop, work that’d leave you confused and you’d wonder whether you are a student or a contract cleaner.
– Inactivity: Most times my friends are not around, I am mostly friends with equally lazy people who would relax for another 7 days and find a way to drag themselves to school on the third day of the week after resumption.

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Life in the University has not changed how I feel about the first day at school, I still have butterflies in my belly every time I walk to my faculty to go see the level adviser, a voice would tell me nonstop that my spreadsheet and every other credentials I have is lost, other times I imagine being told that I was supposed to be in another department instead of the department of English.
Every season of resumption makes students confused, you’d think you have everything under control this moment but everything would be fluttering out of control the next, you wonder what went wrong, and how to start all over again, but do you need to? Below are what I have compiled based on personal experiences as some of the issues that affect the ordinary University student and how to tackle them as they come. They are called the Kanzah Back to School Survival Skills (KaBaSSSKi) looooool.

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– THE FOOD ISSUE : I suppose this ought to be the first on the list, I am not sorry I love food so much, Food is bae but what is there to do when you realize you are going back to school and food might stop being your bae and books would force itself to be bae? First thing first, make up your mind never ever to make books your bae, it should be the side bae not the BAE, I often wake up most mornings hungry and late for class at the same time, what do I do? I jump into the bathroom after I finish praying and wear my clothes with one hand while I pack my books with the other, I end up looking anyhow and sweating profusely like a Christmas goat waiting to be slaughtered when I get to class, and I spend 30 minutes trying to figure out how I am going to calm my breathing and listen to what is being said, but hunger sets in 1hr and some minutes into the lecture and my thoughts stray to the cafeteria, the food canteen, KFC and what not. How do I solve this? I make sure I take something every morning, best thing about early morning hunger is having a backup plan, breakfast is very important, it keeps you focused in class, except when I have got exams I make sure I eat or nibble on something every morning. The backup plan could be biscuits, snacks, cereal which you can quickly prepare before you rush into the bathroom or after you have rushed out. Eating before every class keeps you focused and saves you the hassles of bad breath, yes, not eating for hours especially in the morning gives you bad breath!!!

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WHAT TO WEAR : Are there days you go blank and you don’t know what to wear to cover your naked self? Happens to me every week, what to do? Create a pattern but it is not a must for you to follow it every time, remember it is meant to make life easier and not to choke you, my roommate in 100level used to have this pattern.
MONDAY – Corporate outfit.
TUESDAY – Corporate outfit.
WEDNESDAY – Casual outfit.
THURSDAY – Casual outfit.
FRIDAY – Native wear.
SATURDAY – Casual outfit.
SUNDAY – Anything goes.
In as much as this made things easier for her, I find it stressful, it puts her in a box, this means she dare not wear native on Monday and a corporate wear on Saturday? Come on! In this age and era where you can do funky things to Ankara, Adire, Sanyan, Guinea brocade and so on? Where you can make a smart pencil skirt with Ankara, a cool shirt with adire and a suave blazer with Sanyan? Yes you read the right. Having a personal style will save you the dilemma of choosing out of many options, but when you have fewer options that makes things way easier, you get to wear your coat according to your wardrobe. Lol.

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BOOKS AND READING : Impromptu tests! Assignments! Notes! Materials? All these can be a lot easier if you don’t procrastinate, best thing to do is tackle all those academic issues as they come so you have enough time to live your own life, yes, it shouldn’t be about school every time you should live your own life too, work on yourself, build yourself. When you don’t deal with school issues as they come, they become a burden when you try to do them all at once, imagine staying awake till 4.00am to finish up on an assignment you have been given a week to work on? If you had started work on it the day you were given you’d be sleeping at 4.00am. Get yourself prepared before every class, Google the course title and know about it, go to classes with your own idea of the course so you won’t feel lost when the lectures start. Remember lecturers are lecturers, few are teachers.

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CONFIDENCE : Eat Confidence, breath confidence, sleep confidence, use confidence perfume, Cologne, use confidence toothpaste, speak it, act it! Don’t you get intimidated by mediocrity and noisemakers, define your own cool, you don’t need clothes in vogue to do that, neither do you need to be chatty in classes to do that, you don’t need to attend every party to prove that either. Stay in your own zone, you can stray away once in a while but not too far, be you, let your attitude speak before you open your mouth. Breath that confidence baby.

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CLASSES : Attend classes but don’t forget to skip them once in a while, I used to feel like a loser when I miss classes until I realize little or nothing was lost when I do. There are some studying you’d do on your own that beats attending classes, if you don’t skip classes once in awhile then why are you a university student? You will miss out on the fun in the group assemblages at the lecturer’s office to beg for a makeup test, hahahaha I am not insane but missing a test doesn’t make you a failure. Take a risk. Lol

EMERGENCY KITS : Emergency kits are rescue items that should be in your bag or backpack everyday, they are the just in case items you need to save your face in an embarrassing situation or to save yourself from embarrassing situation.

– LADIES, You need your :
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SANITARY PAD. You know the monthly red blob likes to screw up at times?

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SCARFS, a strong evil wind can blow off your weaves, your hair could get shitted on by an angry bird, lol. A scarf would take care of that situation, you would still look chic.

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A nice POCKET PERFUME

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MINT GUMS, someone might steal a kiss from you or you could be the thief.
An extra BRA STRAP, your brassiere might choose to misbehave when you least expected it.

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LIP GLOSS, EXTRA PEN and EMERGENCY CASH.

– MEN, You need a HOODIE or a SHIRT in your backpack your shirt can get stained or something or you might need to hide a stubborn boner. Lol, EXTRA PEN, MINT GUM, it’s annoying when you walk up to us with a smelly mouth, EXTRA CASH.
And we all need a POWERBANK.
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Are there things you think I left out? You can tell me by leaving a comment. I always reply!.
# xoxo