COCK-BLOCKING:MY EXPERIENCE

Cock-blocking often starts way back in school—secondary school to be precise—when group of girls would giggle when one of the boys crushing on one of them starts walking towards their clique. Giggles, silly jokes, mischievous statements by the girls often put the timid boy trying to muster confidence off. And the girl probably nursing a secret affection for the boy gets cock-blocked. A cock-blocker according to how I have used it here can be defined as a person who deliberately or inadvertently makes impossible a girl’s intended goal of being a dude’s love interest.

In an African home, cock-blocking is often done by our overzealous aunts, nosy cousins or siblings. Aunties would be the one to tell any boy they see around us off, aunties would be the ones that’d go through our phones and check out messages asking silly questions like;

Who is the Mark that sent you that funny Christmas message?
Why does Ali say ‘lol’ all the time? Is that lot of love or laughing out loud?

Some of them go as far as picking up calls and shouting out their heads off once they hear a male voice.

Now talking about the present and my experiences with cock-blocking. The first time I could say I was cockblocked was last year, when Ramadan was about to start. I had gone out to withdraw money with a girl from my hostel. One dude I was crushing on then saw us and we got talking. The silly me acted like I was interested in the girl’s joke when I wasn’t! I kept waiting for him to say something but he didn’t. We got to the junction of my hostel and I began to drag my feet, hoping she’d go on or something. She didn’t! And the idiot I was crushing on didn’t say a word. When I realized my silent moves weren’t working, I shrugged and trudged along with the girl back to my hostel, I’d rather die than lose my ‘pride’ and tell the dude I want to talk to him for few minutes. Could you guys imagine that this girl asked when we got inside the hostel if she wasn’t a cock-blocker.

‘Why would you say that?’ I asked.

‘It seems like maybe you guys wanted to talk and I was interrupting’ she replied

‘No, we weren’t. I’m fine. We are normal pals. Nothing is up’ I felt like pulling her pretty braids till they come off. I was pained much.

But time they say heals all wounds. I had forgiven the girl who cockblocked me the first time and moved on until my village people decided to use my course mate today. So this super fahn creamy-chocolate looking, nice lips and body, smelling of money, nice cool ride mister accosted me today as I dropped from a cab. He was like he’s been following me since I dropped from the cab and I look familiar. Blah blah blah what’s my name, blah blah blah his name is this, blah blah blah and blah blah blah. I knew the conversation would eventually end with ‘can I get your number?’ so I let him go on with his blah blah blah until my course mate aka Cocky Mcblockerson choose the perfect moment to hail a cab. Without giving the mister another look, I made my way towards the cab like.

The cute dude repellant sat comfortably with me in the taxi and asked innocently ‘shebi it is post-office you are going?’ ‘yes’ I said and smiled bitterly. I looked out of the window wistfully imagining what it’d have been like if the cock-wedger didn’t get in my way.

When I realized I would keep feeling ‘hurt’ over Mr Super-fahn, I began to console myself with;

Maybe he has a chronic health condition
He looks dumb BTW, I am pretty sure he has nothing upstairs.
Perhaps he is a yahoo boy. That should explain the bougie ass ride.
He looks like a kid. I like my men matured.
He is kinda short

I went on and on with that in my head till I got to my destination. Dear course mate I had forgiven you but I’d never forget how you ruined my chances of getting a bae, side eyes to the real bae.

2 thoughts on “COCK-BLOCKING:MY EXPERIENCE

  1. Comfort September 20, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    Hmmm…thanks Kaothar. there are some cockblocking I can never forgive. I just have some really naughty friend that won’t just let my parole go successfully. I remember when I was with this super nice dark guy with a nice body build,we were just getting to enjoy our conversation when someone hailed “olosho Comfort”…I form dumb say this bobo o,na me get am. Guess what? She came close and was pulling me and despite me trying to play along so that she will leave us.She stood Kalakaua until the guy made to leave with a promise that he will call.Mayb when he calls tomorrow…

  2. Kanzah September 21, 2017 at 9:44 am

    Omg! That must have hurt so bad, she really spoilt things. Lol

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