When it comes to matters of the heart, we can only hope for the best. The best just in case it leads to marriage. This is why people often look for someone they have a great compatibility with. Quite often, people usually end up with their perfect match but a little snag could be an hindrance to their happily ever after. Many women avoid ending up with an only son or the first son, in short women run away from a mummy’s boy.
Now who is a mummy’s boy? A mummy’s boy is simply that man who shares an immense love and a great connection with his mum. He is close and shares a great bond with her. In most situations, mummy’s boys tell their mother everything… yes, everything. This kind of relationship as beautiful as it sounds is a red flag for many women. Why is this so? It is so because ladies believe such men are still wrapped in between their mother’s iro like a six month old boy. They believe such men are not men of their own because their mothers control them to a very large extent.
But what are the issues that abound when one decides to date a mummy’s boy?;
- POWER TUSSLE: More often than not. There is usually a power tussle between the mother and the lady dating or married to a mummy’s boy. The mother will feel threatened and think the lady is here to upsurge her authority over her son. The lady too will prove to be able to hold her ground and you find in the middle the confused son.
- JEALOUSY: It is usually hard for mothers who are close to their sons to let go and tell themselves he has a woman of his own already. Most Mothers find it hard to let go. They forget their son is no longer a boy but a man and the time spent with them would drastically reduce. They look for different ways to demand attention from their son at the detriment of the lady he is with. And trust me many ladies cannot cope with the baggage.
TERRITORIAL HOLD: Mothers who think their territory is threatened will do everything to maintain their hold on it. This often leads to an animosity between both women. You find situations ranging from what the wife can do in her own home and what she can’t (that is if the mother-in law isn’t living with them already). Some mothers would even insist their son keeps eating their own food even if his partner is around to cook it for him.
BULLYING: Bullying often arise in this situation. The spouse get chided, scolded and pushed to the wall. Unnecessary pressure and snide remarks on how the lady chooses to dress, speak, cook, interact or take care of her son. You hear remarks like;
“My son doesn’t like his eggs fried with groundnut oil. He prefers it fried with palm oil.”
“My son doesn’t keep afro or beards. He is clean shaven? When did this start? Son, you have to cut this hair this minute. No, it makes you look like a common tout. Did you put him to this young lady?”
“My son likes simply dressed women…this your dressing is over the top my dear.”
And guess what your man is doing while you get dragged like that? He stands there and look and wouldn’t put his foot down and tell his mother she is wrong.
- INTRUSION BY THE MOTHER: You have to deal with constant scrutinity by his ever present mother, this is because she knows everything going on between you and her son. So do not be surprised when she demands an answer to a very intimate decision both of you just took. She is the captain of your relationship and she determines whether the ship sinks or not. And it doesn’t end when he slips a ring on your finger, it only takes another dimension. You better prepare yourself for questions on when you plan to get pregnant by your mother-in-law.
Here is a scenario
MIL: Why did you decide to go for the IUD? Going on the pill is better, at least you will stop taking it when you want to start trying for a baby.
WIFE: (Surprised) oh. Okay ma.
MIL: And then I must comment on the way you have decided to wait two years before having a child. It’s not proper. Your son needs a playmate. I was told he is lonely.
WIFE: Okay ma.
And this is coming after five years of marriage.
- UNANNOUNCED VISITS: His mother will keep dropping over without a prior notice, you would think she is planning to catch you engaging in something illicit. It is worse if he still lives with her. Just say goodbye to your privacy and the lock on the door is nothing because mama will enter if she wants in. She can choose to keep knocking continuously and wondering loudly what you guys were doing. So getting freaky with your man is almost impossible.
YOUR PARTNER ALSO THINKS SHE’S ALPHA AND OMEGA:
“My mother thinks it is better if you go for a masters in History and international relations.”
“My mother thinks Buhari is a good president and APC is filled with liars.”
“My mother said it is better to eat home cooked meals than waste money and eat unhygienic good in restaurants.”
“My mother doesn’t cook gbegiri that way…”
All these and many more are the reasons ladies know better than to mess with a mummy’s boy. When I asked two acquaintances if they can date a mummy’s boy. Their answers were almost the same.
Bukky said ” Ha! If I do it means I’m dating him and his mother. And God forbid if his mother is “awon iya aje yen”(a witch).
Secondly what if he is a woman wrapper?. How will I cope?”
Aisha said ” Whoever dates a mummy’s boy has not seen husband o. Because every decision is solely by the mum. He will always be caught between his mother and his wife and he would always choose his mother over his wife.”
The wahala is just too much. Dating a man is enough trouble on it own but it becomes a bigger trouble when you have to date his mother too.
Can you date a mummy’s boy? Have you had any experience with a mummy’s boy? Care to share? The comment box is below.