Xup girlfriend? So am going to keep this letter as informal as possible cus seriously babe, I have seen you naked, I mean what is the greatest height of friendship after seeing each other naked? And uhm remember to shave next time we stumble into each other, yeaaaah, up there and down down there, you disgusting little squib.
I was thinking this letter would be as short as possible but you should know I have a penchant for words which I know you do too.
Pls dear, can you stop being a loser? Like stop moaning and mopping around because all you could do is talk and talk without making a move towards fixing a situation, except building castles in the air with your fat loud mouth (please brush every night, he wouldn’t attempt to kiss you if your mouth stink that bad).
Soldier come, soldier go, can you just accept the fact that not everybody in your life would stay in your life forever? Are you still daft and sucked up with your selfish self to think everyone ought to care for you, about you, only you and nobody else but you, really?
Dear old me, I hope you have stopped going out of your way to please people? Or are you still trapped in the prison you created yourself, the locks intact with the fear you fed it with, do you still sit on the pavements calmly waiting for your friends to stand up from the pavement so you could stand up too? Did you? Did you stand up when you were pressed and needed to use the bathroom urgently? You never did actually but your bladder suffered for it, can you remember running to the toilet afterwards with urine trickling down your legs, hahahahahah I laughed so hard that my spits just formed a huge blotch on the paper I am writing on,the same way the urine formed a big map on your skirt, hehehehehhehe I could remember you stank on the school bus when we were going home.
Oh! Do you still engage in backbiting and senseless gossips? You can never stop talking about people can you? You can’t? Why? You don’t know? I am disappointed but you should know that only buttresses the fact that you are a loser and would always be, in as much as you wouldn’t stop gossiping about others, you slander others and bring them down to feel good about your miserable self, but how do you feel after huh? More miserable and while you sit alone on your three-legged stool of gossip after your equally nosy friends have left, in your smelling garb and disheveled hair, flies buzzing around you, eager to feed your rotten ears with the latest tales around, those you gossip about are out there shinning and basking in the aura of success, none of your rumor mongerings and side talks had gotten to them, they grew stronger and better, it is high time you realize your silly talks are a waste of a precious time you could use on a profitable talk show. Ask Wendy Williams
I think I would have to go so soon but I would definitely write to you again, don’t forget to stop lying and trying to cower away from responsibilities, you know well as I do that you need to stop piling up used clothes but you chose to laze away, can you just stop watching Rich Kids of Beverly Hills when you are as poor as Tess of D’urbeveilles, and please I would need those pair of shoes you took from my wardrobe back, I know you forgot to tell me you borrowed it…
Expecting your reply soon, you know you love me.. #xoxo!!!