Dear able spokesperson of the weight watchers and body shamers association of Nigeria, chief calculator of calories, the knower of what suits other people and what doesn’t, the sayer of rude remarks you term blunt. Please stop saying ‘see your dry neck, see your flat yansh, what kind of manly arm is this one? See tummy like calabash. Why are you looking this lean are you sick?’
Dear ominiknowest in matters of flesh, fat and body structure I don’t want your unsolicited advise about my weight, shape, body structure. You alone have turned into an emergency doctor recommending blood tonics to me. Stop telling me my neck is so deep as if an Hausa man dug it. Stop asking whether Nigeria’s problem is what is drying my chest up and other insulting questions like;
‘Aburo what is wrong are you sick?’
‘Maybe it is because you are not using earrings, abi it is makeup that you didn’t use? Or your top is 2 sizes big?’
That was how you also expressed fake worries when you saw my toned arms and calves and told me not to lift too much jerrycans or trek too much so my arms and legs won’t get too muscular like Adaeze’s own.
The trauma of your lectures still linger in my head. The way you sat me down and told me to mix raw eggs and malt and drink so that I will become rotund, mix ugwu with condensed milk so that the blood I seem to have lost will come back. All of that coming from a middle aged woman without a visible neck, folds of fat, potbelly and a gigantic Christian mother’s arm riddled with stretch marks who somehow thinks she is better than everyone because you have plump daughters that have been placed on a life long ‘medication’of shady blood tonics they don’t even need. There I said it!
Dear body shamer I endured those #skinnybitch jokes for so long that when I eventually started filling out, adding more flesh and running out of clothes. I thanked fat heavens! I went from stick to steak and I thought that would be the end of any kind of talk about my body but was I wrong?
First it started with
‘Haha see big cheeks you are eating all your parents food’
Then it turned to
‘You better take it easy with the eating, see your arm fats when you have not even born.’
‘Hahn hahn see how big your hips are nah wa o.’
‘See your thunder thighs
‘This weight you are gaining anyhow better monitor it too much fat is not good for the body o.’
For God’s sake I am not obese or finding it hard to roll out of bed! I don’t have trouble walking up or down the stairs, I don’t fill up two seats inside the taxi neither do I have difficulty in breathing due to excess fat so why the body shaming?! It got annoying that I stopped replying your ‘you don fat o’ messages on WhatsApp. What is the meaning of that? Nah greeting? Why can’t you just view my pictures and go? When did you find it polite to point out people’s physical look mockingly? What is the meaning of ‘fatty bombom’ you dey craze? Why on earth do you think you are better than someone because they lack fat, have too much fat or muscle? What is wrong with you people?
Dear WWBS stop pretending to care about people’s health while shaming them for being too fat on the other hand. One of my cousins have once been wished a malicious safe delivery by one of your association’s members. Do you know how depressing it can be for a fat person to be told ‘safe delivery o’ just because they have a FUPA! This my cousin went pale and almost passed out onve due to the ‘diet’ she was placed on by this same person.
Dear WWBSAN don’t try to box me because I don’t fit into what your perception of what an ideal woman’s body is like. Don’t try to shame me for being too thin or too fat, not thin or fat enough. Don’t point at my muscular arms and don’t snigger when I say I am big boned.
Don’t take out your insecurites on me. My body is me and I am my body and if I am not complaining to you, best believe I am fine with myself!