DIARY OF A PSYCHO GIRLFRIEND – XX

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Missed last episode?

Dear Diary,

I made out with Farhan, that is a cruel thing to do when I know his Gf, okay I actually don’t know about her but it felt good too. Hmmm thinking about the kiss gives me goosebumps, he walked me to the hostel after and it wasn’t awkward at all. He wants us to meet at Coigne the next day, he didn’t even want me to go hmmmm, I acted coy and turned him down, yes! I am so not going to make it easy for him this time around, the kiss though… God.

I got to my carryover class the next day with a huge fat stupid grin on my face, I even sat right next to the ass licking miss fresher who looks for every opportunity to exchange words with me.

Prof. Fajuyi took all the time in the world arranging his papers and stealing furtive glances at me as he does so, thank God he is not my project supervisor, talking about project I still haven’t found sampling sites yet.
Prof. Fajuyi rambled on and on about what was it? I wasn’t listening at all.

He summoned me to his office after the class and asked if I really want to graduate in the next few months, I played dumb and told him I don’t understand what he is talking about, I made gestures with my hands and asked him to expatiate, surprisingly he was not annoyed and he took his time to carefully explain what I stand to gain if I give him a chance

“Chance for what sir?” I asked innocently

“Come on don’t be silly my friend, me and you becoming 5&6, we would be like virus and a living cell, I can’t survive without you dearie ” he rubbed his nonexistent belly as he said this, I wonder where all the food he had been eating goes to, he is too bony for a man that downloads mountains of pounded yam every afternoon, the gist has been whispered from one microbiology student to the other, Fajuyi loves poundo so much that he said he marks better when he is soaking the white soft morsel inside a green expanse of juicy ‘efo riro’, no wonder students that calls for their exam scripts to be remarked see oil stains on their papers.

I looked at him and shook my head in pity, here he is making a complete fool out of himself saying things that doesn’t make sense, sweating in the air conditioned office, fidgeting as he rocks from side to side, he was pleading with his eyes, if he was a student like me maybe I would have thought he was really into me, but nah Prof. Fajuyi just wants to eat the “onions” like Farida said.

“Okay sir” I smiled sweetly as I said this and his hard face dissolved into a toothy smile

” Hei! Lanre, I always knew you were a good girl, see ehn” he smacked his lips and took a seat on the table in front of me, he had been standing ” I will spoil you, with cash, influence, life everything, no lecturer would give you a tough time again, in fact ehn your project? Stop working on it, you are fully covered just like Glo” he smiled widely as he said this and winked

“So when is our date? I prefer really private places you know” his phone rang and he went to switch it off

“But sir, your phone” I protested
“Forget it my dear, you are more important than a phone, so I was talking about privacy eh abi what do you think?” He looked at me the way a priest looks at the image of his god, really?

“hmmmmm, well I don’t really mind you seem to have taste, so anywhere you think that is cool and privaaaate” I laughed and flipped my weave as I said this, jeez I was flirting with Prof. Fajuyi the demon of microbiology? Rock of ages? F for Fajuyi? Me?

“Washere omo alalubarika, ma toju e se ehehehehehhe” he flashed his teeth again, he checked his schedule for the rest of the day and was about to start preparing to leave the office when a loud knock stopped him

“Come in!” he said with annoyance “yes” he asked harshly as the shivering lad stammered and didn’t know what to say, “what is it!” he bellowed as the confused student desperately looks for words to explain himself

“I think it’s time for their lecture sir” I said for the boy, he threw me a look that seems to say “you are a life saver”

” Is that why you are shaking like a leaf? Ehn? Do you have ecoli lodged in your brain? Get out of my office! I have a very important meeting to attend and I would see you people next Monday by 8am!” Prof. Fajuyi was furious

“B-bbut sir, M-mmmisiter Chinedu takes 342 at that period, W-w-wwwwe can’t Ch-aaaaa…” Prof. Fajuyi cut off the boy mid sentence by shouting at him to get out of his office. The boy was so confused that he hit his head against Prof. Fajuyi’s shelf.

“Idiot, imagine a misiter an ordinary Masters student, what guts does he have when I Fajuyi stands? I taught the stupid Chinedu he is talking about! Yes, in this very school idiots! Stuttering bamboza!”

“Take it easy sir” I said softly
“Oshe my dear, so shall we? I have a beautiful place to take you too and I hope you’d love it”

“I would totally love it sir” I threw him another sweet smile before I left his office, he asked me to go out before him and wait at the parking lot to reduce suspicions, I sent a text to Farida at the parking lot that I am leaving school with Prof. Fajuyi, she didn’t reply till he got out.
Farida sent a reply when we were at the school gate

“Don’t fall hand, don’t open legs, don’t drink to stupor, remember you are an Amazon now, we would talk better when you get back, don’t forget to spend his money o”
I smiled as I read it, Prof. Fajuyi asked what was up when he saw me smiling

“Nothing sir, everything is just fine” I rubbed his beard and he roared and beg me not to let him “jam another motor”.

This feels good.

EPISODE 21

One thought on “DIARY OF A PSYCHO GIRLFRIEND – XX

  1. T.piano November 9, 2016 at 6:00 am

    Lol…interesting

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