DIARY OF A PSYCHO GIRLFRIEND – XXVIII

Missed last episode?

Dear Diary,

I blinked in and out of consciousness. I could hear a siren wailing, hands were on me but I was fighting them

“Farida, Farida” I said repeatedly. A male voice whispers “stay with me, stay with me” . Farhan’s face blurred like every other thing around me as I slipped into unconsciousness again. The siren became a faint comforting noise.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Convocation was fun! Even though Farida had to lean on me as we took pictures, we still had fun. Farida’s leg was still not fully balanced yet, few more physiotherapy sessions would have her fully back on her feet the Doctor told Farhan.

I emptied my wardrobe in the name of “parting gifts” Ese tried to court my friendship by apologizing and heaping multitudes of curses on Amina.

” me sef wey be correct Bini babe no fit do dat on top boy matter, last last I fit knack bottle and nah only Adesuwa don vex me reach that level, that girl craze no be small”. She talked nonstop and eventually left when I replied her with hmmm and ooooh. I am not the type that forgets things easily not when I am accused of such grievous crime as committing murder. The Porter who had called the police was sacked. Tamuno waves at me whenever we bump into each other and I reply with a genuine smile.

My Dad rushed home when my mum informed him of my abduction, he was furious and had spoken harshly to my mum who kept crying and saying “her enemies have gotten her”. He drowned me in a bear hug when I could stand on my feet and yes, my Dad cried. Second time I would see a fully grown man cry.

Farida’s mother became my mum’s friend after the incident. They had both spent sleepless nights at the hospital calling on Allah and Jehovah at the same time.

The female detective came to see me at the hospital twice before I was discharged, I asked her what was being done about Natasha’s missing body. She only shrugged and said

” I have washed my hands off Nigerian mentality, besides some things are better left unsaid”

“what about Prof.Fajuyi?” I asked as I sat up in the bed

” Lanre dear, I don’t understand what is going on but we keep meeting brick wall…” “But it could be Amina, I am sure she is the one” I cut in “we are still investigating his murder dear, you need to rest” she pushed me back into bed and nodded at my Mum as she left the ward.

“smallie” kept me company after exams and we go out to fun spots to go and chill, the bill is always on her. Farida was still recuperating so she couldn’t go with us. The day I told her we went to swim with Farhan, she said lots of things in Hausa and gave Farhan a dirty look which looked funny at the same time.

I spent an extra month in school with Farhan and “smallie” and lied to my parents I was adding finishing touches to my project. They are people I wished I had met long ago.

Pre-wedding photos of Jhay was sent to me by my cousin who had asked ” come to think of it Lanre, would you have married him after school?”

I laughed and quietly said “maybe” she began to lecture me about archaic ideas of marriage and childbirth immediately after school

“have fun babe, kiss and makeup, don’t let a man tie you down when you are not ready. Be your own boss jor” she hung up abruptly when the signature rough cockney accent of her boss began to shout obscenities. Last time she called she told me she had quit her job and is now setting up a Nigerian Restaurant with the cute guy she had told me about. Of course I asked which and she said him, I shook my head as I waited for her to hang up when we were done talking. My cousin has never had a single him, it was mostly them. How things change.

Amina was discharged and acquitted even after she confessed that she killed Natasha thinking it was Farida and luring Farida away before she could enter the room and meet Natasha’s dead body and luring me away to kill too all because of Farhan!. Her lawyer blamed her psychological imbalance and pleaded for leniency. He presented her medical records citing her history of Antisocial personality disorder as the reason why she was erratic in her behaviour. I read it in the papers that she had been taken abroad for treatment and adequate monitoring of her mental health.

Farhan and I became closer, strolling without direction is our favourite past time. He hasn’t made a move yet and I am not ready to put him through. We skirt around subjects concerning relationships and cover things up with service year talks.

He was posted to Abuja while I was flung to Akwa-Ibom, Farida had to spill because she couldn’t write the exams and accepted it in good faith.

“Another year to slay hard and have fun I guess” she took a deep breath and I squeezed her hands, I was lucky. She is also lucky and she is fortunate to be alive after the surgery.

“I am breaking up with Fola Scott” she said without warning. “Won’t you miss him?” I caressed her hair and she frowned “why will I? His dick is too tiny” we burst into wicked laughter when she said this and her mother look at us with the corners of her eyes as she observed Solat.

My roommate gave birth to a baby girl, her fiancé kept grinning from ear to ear when I and Farhan went to the hospital to see her. Her mother in law who had been sleeping since we got there stood up to use the bathroom as we were leaving

“Both of you will make fine chulren” she smiled and exposed a gold tooth. I smiled politely in return and it turned into a frown when Farhan started to tease me about what she said.

“smallie” called me a week before I left home for the orientation camp, she told me her cousin saw my pics and is interested in me, she said she gave him my number and she hopes I wouldn’t mind. I was amused and I reassured her all was well.

The cousin turned out to be a muscular chocolaty tall and handsome hottie. Just how I like them, he called me that night and we talked till 2:00am. Conversation with him flowed like a stream.

Farhan calls me every day just to check up on me. I met “smallie’s” cousin and he looked better than he did in the pictures he sent. He is working and is four years older than I am. He went straight to the point, he wants a girl that would skip girlfriend to FiancĂ©e because he doesn’t believe in wasting time and all that getting to know one another trash. I told him I do not see wedding bells ringing for me 5 years from now and he looked crushed but regained his composure. We became just friends after but he still won’t stop singing his songs of affection into my ears.

Farhan called the night before I left for camp, we were perambulating and talking about random stuff as usual, until he said

” Lanre, promise not to cheat on me when you get to camp” I was dumbfounded and I asked why he would say such “we are not even dating” I added.

“really?” He said, then he went on and on with sweet nothings.
I sighed deeply.

” I think we need more time. I think I need more time to figure out if I am really interested in you or just infatuated by you. So the answer is no”

He sounded crushed and told me he won’t stop trying. ” just don’t cheat on me” he said again before he hung up.

My brother drove me to the airport the next morning. My Dad had wanted me to go through public transport but my Mum refused saying her enemies will wait for me on the road. “what about in the air?” my Dad challenged and she went into a praying fit that ended up in her speaking in tongues.

” Otondo corper don’t go and shake “yansh” for all those soldiers there o” he poked me in the ribs as I dragged my box, he wouldn’t help me with any of my stuff after all I am a “bloody civilian”

” Go back to Sambisa” I retorted

” mind how you talk to a second lieutenant civilian”

” lemme alone Ayotunde, nobody asked you to come close to a civilian ha”! I turned back to see him checking out a lady’s behind.

Hissing, I strolled towards the terminal, he called after me and I waited

” you want me to miss my flight!” I fumed, I had totally forgotten how annoying he could be.

” I need to give you a goodbye hug, your plane may crash” he pulled me into a hug before I could say something equally malicious

” I don’t want the enemies to get my mother” he said as he pat my back ” Jesu, Jesu jesu” he mimicked my mum as he pats my back. Together we began to ” skiriboroboshakakakpalallalala” imitating our mother. We stopped when people started to stare at us

” I will miss you Lepa” he looked at me one last time and left. I turned and walked towards the terminal.

I felt eyes on me as I took a seat in the waiting lounge.

My flight was announced and I struggled with my box. I pulled up my sagging pants which was earning me disapproving looks from an elderly woman as I spotted a lady dressed in jeans and tanktop with black aviator sunglass. I choked on my hisses as I wondered why someone would wear shade when they are not in the sun and a tanktop with such an ugly scar on the chest. I was moving towards the door when something clicked. I turned and stared, the face looks familiar even the way she walks. I stared as she moved towards the departure for the international flight, her friend tapped her and pointed at me. She turned and smiled, then she pulled down her sunglass a bit. One eye was missing.

“Aunty please move you are blocking my way” a pregnant woman nudged me in the back. I apologized and moved towards the departure covered in goosebumps.

THE END.
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6 thoughts on “DIARY OF A PSYCHO GIRLFRIEND – XXVIII

  1. KHREEZE December 16, 2016 at 8:15 am

    i had to go re-read previous episodes to understand who that was……. that twist cauqht me unawares … it was a nice journey i never missed any episode___ any new story in the near future?

  2. Kanzah December 16, 2016 at 10:58 am

    It was… ?

  3. nelson December 17, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    Brilliant end, always suspected her.

  4. Kanzah December 17, 2016 at 6:26 pm

    Thank you Nelson.

  5. Chibz September 14, 2017 at 10:32 pm

    Ok! So I was almost a year late in reading the stories but thank God I was cos I got it read them all at once! Beautiful write up! AWESOME!!!! Next story please!!!! And soonest!

  6. Kanzah September 14, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    Thank you Chibz. Wait for it.

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