I went to see Jhay last week, I have the key to his house so I had no problem letting my self in when I met his absence, the moment I stepped into the bedroom the smell of sweat greeted me, his bed sheet was rumpled, my thoughts threatened to run wild but I controlled them, I bit my lower lip as I imagined him bringing a girl over, impossible I thought.
My gaze went back to the rumpled sheets, Jhay never leaves his bed roughly made, Despite my suspicions, my lips curled into a smile when I took note of the scattered pillows with the foam struggling to burst out any minute.
Perhaps they was a pillow fight, my mind went back to the girl I saw and I picked the phone that was resting in my bag and dialed Jhay’s number for the hundredth time, the annoyingly beautiful voice of the voice operator answered again “The number you dial is not reachable at the moment, please try again later, thank you”
I swore as I dropped the phone, my hands were free and I felt a great urge to smash, strangle, stab…destroy, Jhay’s kitchen was a mess, used plates and pots decorate the sink, the cutlery rack had come off, Jhay always told me he wasn’t always able to fix it back whenever it comes off and I would fix it whenever I came over too, smiling sheepishly while teaching him how to go about what he would never learn.
My ears were vibrating when I pulled a knife from under the piles of dirty dishwares, it has changed from it sparkling steel colour to a blur of sticky white and brown, I stared at the knife and could make out my face, rising from cabinet I had leaned on, I started using the knife edge to beat the cupboard that houses plastic bags, containers, and all other stuff, what started as an unconscious action gave way to my vent, I started hitting it with fury,
Ka! Ka!! ka!!! I pictured her in my head, a slim delicate woman with the right curves in the right places and not flat everywhere like me, aaaargh kaaaa!!!!! Kaaaaaa!!!! Kaaaaa!!!! I hit the cupboard harder, I imagined her giggles as he bent to whisper into her ears in front of the eatery I had seen them, the bedsheets,Kaaaa!!!!! Kaaaa!!!! Kaaaaa!!!!
The handle of the knife came off and I continued anyway, the cupboard surface looked like a ugly piece of artwork, the dents from the knife, the ends that got chipped off, I was still hitting the cupboard with the knife when I heard someone come in, leaping from the floor like a Tigress that just sighted a prey, I got to the sitting room in no time, it was Jhay and his shirt was undone, his hair disheveled. He doesn’t look surprised when he saw me and that got me angrier.
He wanted to embrace me but I pushed him off, then I told him I saw him earlier today, with a girl, and she was giggling while he whispers into her ears. I expected him to be shocked but he sighed instead, holding his head in his hands, he had told me calmly that the girl was his cousin and I could call his sister to confirm, yap yap yap. God I felt so stupid.
I became weak in the knees and I crumbled,” oh my God, oh my God “I whispered, I felt miserable for thinking he might have cheated and i remembered the kitchen cabinet, God! I waited for him to leave the room for the restroom, then I grabbed my bag and left!