DO NOT BE DESPERATE TO BE LIKED.

We are expected to choke on our grievances, sniff back our opinions, turn the blind eye so that we would be accepted and liked. We bend to this rule and we end up ripping ourselves apart in a war of thoughts left unsaid – Abdulazeez Kaothar.

When did this whole thing about being liked began? How did humans become engrossed with the need to be liked? Why do people go out of their way to be “nice”? Is it because they want people to see them as nice and like them for being nice?

Hello, so you swallowed your opinions and refused to contribute to a discussion because your opinions counter the popular ones and you don’t want to get people pissed? Really? You mean being liked counts more than your voice?

Hi, I heard you continued to take the insult that comes your way with huge mounds of ketchup, what kind of taste does it leave in your mouth after? You mean you are scared of speaking your mind and hurting rude people in the process? But they hurt you first didn’t they? Tat for tatty tit!

I was once a victim of swallowed grievances, I wouldn’t talk no matter how much you had hurt me. I was just too scared the person would get pissed with me, but that is funny because that person had hurt me, is hurting me and would still hurt me. I put up barricades instead and get comfortable in my thorn filled shell. When it gets out of hand and I flare up, I become the bad one and the comments, judgement wouldn’t be in my favour but I noticed I didn’t care. I was too happy I was eventually free from mistreatment to bother about the various opinions and the ruling of the case which wasn’t in my favour.

I noticed parents, consciously or unconsciously tend to mold us into this pretty-mannered, sweet, bubbly and well liked kid, our parents would want us to be liked both in school and the neighborhood, so they teach us good manners and they end up overdoing it. Our parents will urge us to be soft-spoken and kind towards those who had hurt us, of course it is good to be kind but not letting your ward know he or she has been mistreated and should speak up for himself or herself next time is telling the child “yes, it is okay for you to be slapped, smile to the person next time and turn the other cheek”. In as much as I don’t support using the physical to settle arguments, there are times you’ve got to tell your ward ” If Kumbi slaps you for no reason, slap her back for no reason, she has no right to slap you, let her know that by slapping her back” Kumbi will not only stop slapping your ward, Kumbi would be careful next time not to carry any roborebe towards your offspring. But many wouldn’t do this, some parents would encourage their child to be of good comport so that she wouldn’t annoy Kumbi, they don’t want to make their kid an outsider, the kid who would stand and stare as other children ignore him/her, the one whom Kumbi has declared as an outcast to the rest of the playmates and warned them to steer clear of, else they face her wrath.

It is better though, to teach your child not to take nonsense and shred the ambition of being liked. That way, your child will not only have a voice of his or her own but would also be assertive. Child abuse, rape and all other forms of violence against children are now rampant, when the child is being brought up to keep quiet so people would like him/her, won’t one random vile pedophile lure the child with sweet talks? talks that often begin with “you know I like you”. Won’t the child keep quiet because of the thirst to be liked? A child who is brought up to speak up without fear of being liked or disliked would be able to tell his or her mother/father if there was any attempt to mess with his/her sexual organs.

And to the adults, when someone treats you wrong, do something that makes you feel bad about yourself, has hurt you with their actions, has plotted your downfall and what not with others. Stay away from such people and no, you can’t be nice towards them because you want them to like you so that they would stop working tirelessly towards your downfall. Flash news: They will continue to sprint round the clock for your downfall!

Speak up against whatever it is that doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, speak against people who have hurt you, speak against things that give you bad vibes, keep quiet when you think it is wiser to be mum and not because you don’t want everyone to dislike you!

What is the essence of me greeting you, wasting my energy while you still plot evils about me and work towards my downfall? Why will the society expect me to be extra “nice” to my enemies because it kills them faster than anything, I agree it is not good to repay evil with evil, but have we asked ourselves the kinds of evils that ought not to be repaid? Some evils deserve payment with an extra cash o! Do you expect me to be nice to someone that tried to break my leg yesterday? Is it not best for me to be wary of such person instead of smiling into his or face and making it look like it is okay for him or her to attempt to break my leg, isn’t that telling such person the leg is still available to be broken again and again and again till it becomes nothing but useless bunch of bones held together by a trembling tendon?

There should be a clear-cut difference between when to be nice and when not to be nice, being nice to the person who tirelessly works towards your downfall just because you want to be seen as “nice” and liked is stupidity covered with layers of gele and doused with sweet-smelling lavender. While you are out there being brother nice and sister likeable who is throwing positivity into the world, someone is poisoning your tea.

PS
robo-rebe means nonsense and ingredient. In other words Pure nonsense!