THE NOT SO SUBTLE SEXISM WOMEN FACE: ‘YOU CAN’T BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN’

Naturally, I don’t play the gender card when it’s absolutely unnecessary but something happened yesterday which got me more disheartened than pissed. So I posted a series of personal opinions on my status about the eventual victory of the PDP presidential candidate, then this dude sent me a message saying ‘Don’t worry about politics, it’s not ladies talk’

That I was shocked was an understatement because I honestly didn’t see that coming. I asked him why he thinks it is not ladies talk and why he thinks as a man he knows better. He gave me a watery response about men being more knowledgeable when it comes to politics. Really? Uncle political analyst, informed partisan, current citizen and you are still stuck in the century where women are told to leave the room because important issues are about to be discussed, where women are told they won’t understand just because they are women, where women are seen as a statue that is meant to be seen and not heard, where women are treated no better than slaves, where women are hapless, wretched and cursed simply because they are…women!

My disgust made me ask if he thinks he would ever stand a chance if he runs for a post? Well he replied with a jumble of words I don’t understand. He is an example of men who can barely construct an intelligible statement thinking they are better off than brilliant women simply because they are men. His archaic way of thinking is sadly not unusal. It abounds and is deeply entrenched in our society. It starts from homes, gets transferred from father to son – boys seeing their mothers silenced because of their sex – It reigns surpeme in our society; when people are arguing especially when bashed cars are involved and the men there wave a hand dismissively ‘she’s a woman it’s nothing’ ‘woman call your husband let’s speak man to man’ ‘I have your type at home and I don’t take nonsense from her’ Type! Type! Like an object, a thing that is purchased?

Our society suffers terribly from this type of behaviour which dumbs down the society. It is irrational when women get fenced off from doing something simply because of their gender. That shouldn’t be the case in as much as it is their cognitive skills that is needed. In this case, I am referring to women contesting for posts, lets start from the scratch, in primary schools and secondary schools it is rare for you to see a girl who is the class captain. It is usually a boy. When I was in primary 2, my class teacher selected a boy Obinna to be the monitor while 7 to 8 were monitresses (I am not exaggerating darlings) I am sure Mrs Asukwo believed one Obinna can do what 7 to 8 of us were doing. Now let’s talk about what happened some months back, in my CDS, when the 17A batch were leaving and a lady from my batch wanted to run for the post of the CDS president, many people were against it, surprisingly some ladies werw against her too. Their reason was, it’s stated that only a man can run for the post and a lady can only be Vice president. They were asked were it was written but they couldn’t provide a document. Well she contested and she won anyways! She organizes the CDS the way the former president who was a man did and there haven’t been a complaints about her incapability since she held the post. This doesn’t mean there aren’t times some guys in my CDS give her a condescending look when she tells them to comport themselves, they look at her like who is this girl to be talking to us like this. See? Another feeling of male superiority.

The feeling of male superiority is when some men feel they have the whole world beneath them and they can do what they want because they have testosterone running through them. They approach people brashly, do things anyhow, walk with head high and shoulders wide daring any woman to challenge them. It is sad some of the men who grow up to be like this learnt this from their fathers, that some of the men who grew up to be like this exhibited this behaviour when they were younger and never got corrected, that they would eventually grow up and intergrate themselves into the society with this primitive attitude, that they would settle down and start treating their women – daughters, sisters and wife – like a subordinate because of their false sense of superiority.

Dear people, we can do better. Parents, educate your children and teach them proper values, teachers, take over from where the parents stop and stop telling the children daddy alone pays school fees and all mummy does is cook and take care of babies, society, stop massaging the egos of the men who dominate women and exhibit behaviours of toxic masculinity.

What else do you think we can use to curb this behaviour?