We all know politics in Nigeria for the past few months have been one heck of a comedy. From dancing senators, to heroic senators who miraculously survived kidnapping attack, to the governor obsessed with statues down to the governor who recently got beaten like someone caught stealing in Oshodi, to the house of the senate getting padlocked.
We have witnessed different politicians come but how many have we seen go? Apart from those who adamantly took the ‘we die there’ serious and kicked the buckets. How many politicians have ever stepped down from power after a term or two? We can count them on one finger if there are any. You see past governors running for the senate. Lobbying for ministerial appointments, looking for every means to stay in power. Those who do not jostle for appointments take the backseat from where they lord supreme over the new set that want to start queuing for their own share of the national cake. They are the godfathers. Without them, forget, you are nothing. A godfather will singlehandedly wield influence like a double edged sword. They will make you, in the same vein they will mar you if you step out of line. They are the proverbial dog ready to bite its puppies with the teeth it used in playing with them…that is if the puppets…sorry puppies go out of line. It is not a new thing in Nigeria, we all know this.
Elections will come and go. Godfathers are always there to stay. Year in, year out we lament the evil our leaders have done. We vomit our grievances in the discomforts of our homes – in unbearable heat because NEPA didn’t bring light for weeks – we berate our leaders in the midst of our friends, we curse them to their last generation on Facebook and everywhere else, we scream and shout that we are done with their shit and come next election we are voting them out. But guess who just elected them into power again during the next polls? You guessed right! You! Me! Us! We! You are wondering how? Have you forgotten how you refused to collect PVC because the stress is too much? Did you know your uncollected PVC will be used to rig elections by those politicians? Well that is what I heard too. Did you know failing to turn up at the polling unit does more harm than good? Can you stop saying your vote doesn’t count because everything get rigged in Nigeria? Do you know the thousands of others who think the same way? Well clap for yourself fellow citizen, you just made things a bit easier for those greedy looters again! Were you not also the one who vowed to collect bribe if you are ever offered any? You said you can’t afford to be called talaka alagidi: the poor pompous man. Just 1 million naira from any political party will have you dancing under hot sun and waving broom, dangling umbrellas, live cocks or red paents. Whatever their symbol is.
Isn’t it in this our same Nigeria boys high on codeine-tramadol-marijuana mix and corporate hooligans with kids abroad threaten their fellow Nigerians at polling units? It is in this same Nigeria that youths break bottles on each other’s heads, machete one another down, destroy properties and lives just because a politician dole out few wads of cash? Is it not this same Nigeria that a dropout met his death while engaging in political hooliganism, I heard he fell off one of the campaign buses and hit his head on the ground. He was the only son of his parents. The politician he was following have his own kids safely nestled away in Harvard. It is in this same Nigeria Almajiri boys will be gathered and given food, money and other petty items. Poor hungry boys, they are ready to take down Donald Trump if that was the instruction. They don’t care as long as their tummy is filled and enough drugs have been supplied for the druggies among them. They will gladly fall in heap one after the other as bullets reign supreme over the feeble stones they throw.
Dear country people, our leaders are ready to visit the nook and cranny of Nigeria, even places you have never seen on the map to campaign. They make watery promises, drop some wads of notes for the leader of the community, dust yansh and leave. You will see a politician frying emergency akara, jumping buses and eating with cripples because he wants to get elected. And guess what? He will get elected!
Someone is now there saying Nigerians are now wiser and not ready for any politricking. After what happened in the recent elections in South-West? I can beat my chest and say the same thing will happen. We will vote the same sets of people who have raped, plundered and ruined our country directly or indirectly. We will hail and cheer those who rob us blind, who steal money meant for infrastructures, who sit on workers salary, who do not give a damn about the state of living of the average Nigerian citizen.
Our mumu never do if we keep cheering and looking. It can never do if we clap and gather for their rallies when we can boo them and shun such rallies. Our mumu never do if our Magajis, Baales, Igwes, Emirs and Obas are putting hands behind their backs to collect largesse. Our mumu can never do if we continue to snub polling units. Our mumu can never do if we keep dancing to the tune of those who have vowed to sap us off the little we have in us. Who do not care if we go hungry or die.
Our mumu can never end if we keep allowing ourselves to be puppets. I don talk my own wetin you go do?