When the world thought it had had enough and is desperately trying to fix itself and get the clueless young folks inhabiting it to get up from their beds and do something worthwhile with their time, the devil decided to bless us with another demonic distraction.

Ladies and gentlemen please put your organs together for the sex dolls!!!

Yes folks, dolls you can have sex with, charged toys with peepees and veevees that you can insert and get inserted with. My privates have cringed in protest ever since they got introduced and it became a thing on Twitter. Apparently the whole world is buying the idea…scratch that, THE WHOLE WORLD HAS BOUGHT THE IDEA ALREADY!!!

It would have been a little bit better you know if this dollfeckery had remained in the West and the Orient who are not strangers to weird practices but NO, doll-fecking-baby had to sashay all the way to the Sahara. It had to trend on the Nigerian Twitter too and I totally got heartbroken when a Ghanaian bought his and showed it off on social media. Here’s me saying bye bye to me ever having an orgasm again!

I mean let’s face it, this sex doll thing is out to further make things worse for us. Nigerian youths are no longer using the #Benuemourns hashtag, that has been dumped for anything that has the hashtag #sexdolls on it. How wonderful!

Sex dolls, in my opinion is just a consolation for men who are sexually inadequate and cannot approach women, who have fetishism running through their veins and the need to explore it and oh, women who have given it up and in one way or the other psychologically unbalanced. – Abdulazeez Kaothar

The sex doll is a subtle birth control method, nothing gets fertilized and nothing receives fertilization. I mean come on you are juzzling with silicone what do you expect? And this translates to the world birth rate drastically reducing… that is if half of us lose our senses and half the world decide to go for it.

Human worth get reduced. Amaka can’t use Niyi to do shakara for as long as it pleases her before she says ‘I do’ because why? Niyi will get a sex doll and name it Amaka then he would go all out on it in the middle of the night and yell Amaka’s name as he comes. What disrespect!

I ken’t, I just ken’t

And the end times will start manifesting…

Humans will get compared to dolls and not their fellow humans… You start hearing stuff like,

‘What is wrong with this one? Why are you doing doing as if God is behind you? My sex doll can catwalk better than you sef’

‘Oh you think I really like you? I just came to ask you out for the meantime because my sex doll is faulty and is getting repaired. Mtcheeew’

‘Becky look at that guy, the one on the left, yeah don’t you think he looks like Brad, my sex doll?’

‘I swear my sex doll can do that style better than you’

It’s finished

The world has turned on it head and prayers will also change too, from ‘holy ghost fire the slay queens manipulating the mind of your husbands’ to ‘May God remove the heart of your husband from using your kids school fees to buy a sex doll amen? Amen.’

Nonchalancy will be the order of the day, some women will shrug when their rich husbands purchase sex dolls afterall ‘it is toy and not another woman.’ Husbands too will calm down and may even watch while their wives play with her doll.

I mean let’s face it, you need to apply lube on your female dolls before sex because anatomically it is not complete, the male dolls won’t know when you want it slow when it is going fast because it is nothing but plastic and insensitive to your sexual emotions. – Abdulazeez Kaothar

Some men will purchase sex dolls with the money they are meant to pay their fiancee’s bride price with. Chineke mu o.

Gee-boys will stop using money to buy iPhones and boxing up their girlfriends, they will start competing with sex dolls instead because it will become the new cool. The one with the prettiest sex dolls, the one who is polygamous in his doll dealings. Slay queens will get lesser cash and Apple will be at the edge of bankruptcy. Oh lawd!

Condom factories will get lesser demand, contraceptive pills will expire on the shelves of chemists and midwives will start selling bread and frying akara! It will affect the economy indirectly, I am actually serious.

But as they say there’s the good in every seemingly bad thing and according to it makers, rape and paedophilic activities will reduce. That is nothing but lies to make their market sell, what about the rapists who can’t afford it and the paedophile who can’t? What will we do about them?

This new invention is just another stupid distraction to tiltilate humans and make them believe sleeping with a doll is better than sleeping with a human, it is to deceive humans into thinking they can keep themselves till marriage or reduce their numbers of sexual partners by doing it with a doll. How sleek.

It is to make humans not to feel the guilt of masturbating because what is infront of them is nothing but a doll. Whereas they are actually MASTURBATING in a less crude and more expensive way!!!

May the world get healed soon and may the doll madness which has come to stay become less hyped. We can only pray for the hype to go away and not for it to go away… because it is here to stay, sadly.

10 thoughts on “SO, SEX DOLL IS TRENDING?

  1. Tunesky January 21, 2018 at 9:03 am

    One of the wonderful post I’ve ever read on sex dolls trending palava… Nice write up omoomi

  2. Olujigga January 21, 2018 at 9:13 am

    Nice thread

  3. Muji Raji January 21, 2018 at 9:18 am

    There’s nothing left on unsaid about that rubbish.. what does it satisfy? ” emotionless plastic 😒

  4. Kanzah January 21, 2018 at 10:25 am

    Thank you

  5. Kanzah January 21, 2018 at 10:26 am

    Thank you.

  6. Kanzah January 21, 2018 at 10:27 am

    They said it satisfies their temporary sexual urge.

  7. Sunny IBEH Jr January 21, 2018 at 9:03 pm

    Astutely crafted and buttressed. Apparently,this whole development is dramatic,bizarre,outrageous,preposterous and salacious!

    Nice one girl.

  8. Phodeo January 22, 2018 at 7:43 am

    Clearly expressed… Dolls nonsense. The cost of hiring olosho is #800 while that of purchasing doll is 800,000. What a world!

  9. sharonpaula January 22, 2018 at 9:51 am

    Lol.. Well done Kanzah!

  10. sharonpaula January 22, 2018 at 9:51 am

    Lol.. Well done Kanzah!

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