It is back to school season! The excitement of meeting your friends and the adventures of hostel life makes school way more fun, basically each and everyone has a story to tell about their experiences in school hostels, some are often funny while others are not. Below are the list of the type of girls you would meet in a Nigerian University girls hostel. This is the first part and the second part and the type of guys you would meet in a Nigerian boys hostel would come in subsequent posts.
– Borrow borrow : They can like to borrow anything, ranging from food items to books to underwear!!!! They share your things with you and use your stuff like it’s theirs, they put trademark on your items and people begin to wonder who the real owner is, they would want to cook indomie and end up borrowing pots, knife, fork, onions, indomie and eggs from different people, the only thing that belongs to them would be the water used in cooking!
> > – How to make them mad at you: Refuse to borrow them stuff.
– Spirikoko : As Salam aleikum, peace be upon you. They are the sisters in the Lord, they have a spiritual, emotional and familiar connection with the divine some even go as far as being the medium through which holiness manifests, you would often see them in long flowing loose clothes that obscure their womanly curves. A hello to them or hi might result into endless preachings and invitation to fellowships, prayer meetings or sisters circle.
> > – How to make them mad at you: Wear tight fitting trouser and short top.
– Naked models : They are the Kim Kardashian, Amber rose, Rihanna Robyna Fenty of girls hostel, they are so comfortable being naked, they don’t mind prancing the whole blocks in their naked form, they jiggle their mammary glands from compound A to E just to get recharge card, some would go as far as shaving their pubic hair in front of their room, they leave the bathroom and stand in full glare of everybody to take their bath, they have an age long beef with clothes and would never cover up even if it were freezing.
< < - How to make them mad at you: Recommend a good bra and stretch marks cream for them. - Miss Bones : Modern day Margaret Thatcher, Farida Waziri the second they are the madam no nonsense of the hostel, their roommates are always scared to talk to them, they seldom do anything in their room or hostel they are usually let off hostel duties and wouldn't contribute money to fix anything. They reply your greetings with "huhn huhn" and the wrinkles on their face is like the crisscross lines on the map of Africa. > > – How to make them mad at you: Bump into them at the hallway and refuse to apologize.
– Famzats and Famzalinas: Awon social climbers, they are friends with everybody and friends with nobody, their loyalty lies no where they are quick to bad mouth you, same way they would defend you in a heartbeat, even though they have never spoken a word to you they would speak of your kindness and good manners if you are the tush type, they are always the first to say good morning with their phoney accent and the first to ask for parting gifts when it’s time to leave the hostel, they hardly stay in their room, their bed serves as a relaxation spot for their other roommates, they would dump you like a bad habit the moment your cool turns to not cool, they are mostly loud, uncouth and annoying.
> > – How to make them mad at you: Shun them every time they make passes at you.
– Antennas : They are the Channels TV, news breakers of life, they are the first to distribute the gist of the lecturer who had slept with the whole of his faculty, they know everybody’s boyfriend and every gist in school, they are often found scurrying from one block to another distributing the scoop of a disgraced big girl or the scandal of a professor.
> > – Shout and warn them to stop feeding you with gossip in public.
– Happy-go-chop-around : They are the bubbly vivacious chubby babes in the hostel, they do not look for trouble and make sure trouble doesn’t find them, why so? If they fight they are done for. They have practically turned everybody in the hostel to a charity worker, they eat in everybody’s room and won’t forget to remind you to cook for two when they see you are about to cook. They always have a sorry ass tale to tell about their family which would make you sympathize with them, they become vampires and suck you dry. They eat your provisions like it’s no man’s business, the only food item in their wardrobe is Garri but they always have the coolest clothes and latest shoes.
NOTE: you would hardly recognize them in school.
> > – How to make them mad at you: Cook a sumptuous meal in their presence and eat it alone!
– The Rich Babe : O. B. O is coming! They walk, talk and rock money, they mostly flaunt designer items and have more than the necessary items in the hostel, you would always find expensive chocolate nylons in their Prada purse, teddy bears beside their pillows and mostly pink items in their underwear bag. They pick their words one at a time, they don’t brag about their parent’s wealth but the money speaks for it self from their flawless skin to the vacation pictures on her equally expensive phone.
> > – How to make them mad at you: Refuse to be friends with them when they want you to.
– Miss chef : They are husband material 1 million yards, they cook a lot and mostly have different boys from their department coming to collect food, they have the biggest pots and different spices and herbs for cooking. They are experts in Ofe onugbu, efo riro and miyan kuka. They know the amount of salt needed for 25 cups of rice, they never taste their food when they are cooking but the food miraculously turns out nice.
> > – How to make them mad at you: Pour the food you collected from them inside the bin in their presence.
– Hot cake : They are everybody’s crush, zillion guys call them every time they are always outside at night with different guys, their phone is always hot from excessive phone calls and whatsapp messages, they get expensive gifts from random guys they mostly have guys begging them to go on dates. They are often beautiful and outspoken, suya, Sharwarma, Chicken and other serenre is always in abundance in their room. She seldom cooks as she eats out all the time, the only time food is prepared is when she is crushing on one of the crushers.
> > – How to make them mad at you: Have a more beautiful face and hotter body, Make passes at the one she is crushing on.
Watch out for part 2,I always love to hear from you, don’t forget to drop a comment, I always reply. #xoxo