WHO SMILES WHEN YOU ARE DROWNING?

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” I told you so, didn’t I”? She giggled maliciously and flopped on the settee, I was confused, angry and pained at the same time.

I was confused, my effort amounts to nothing every time. It is like fire that doesn’t have enough fuel to make it burst into flames, it turns into smoke instead and twists into insurmountable coils and then slithers away slowly before it hits a dead end and eventually Dies.

I was angry at people who assured me all would be fine, they said I should go ahead that everything would be just fine, I did but it wasn’t fine. I was told to just try my best that my best is all I need, well my best wasn’t good enough and I am angry at them because they did nothing. I am pissed at them because they did Nothing.

I am so pained, she is my best friend I love her and I always put her first, we were perfect together, we hate the same people, we love the same food and yes we both give each other a shoulder to lean on when there is boys trouble. Baaaaah, why would she treat me so? My life is a Tempest and I just needed someone to calm me down and make the violent storms go. But no she wouldn’t she only laughed harder and sipped more orange juice.

I sat like a puppy who had littered it master’s favourite carpet with poop again, but what was I ashamed of? Thoughts flew in and out of my head, what was it my cousin told me about people you love hurting you? Yes, think of the beautiful things they did to put smiles on your face. ” You can’t put away years of laughter for a few moments of tears” she said after we finished our discussion on Drugs, pills, booze, sex, life and every other thing that falls in between.

Her words annoy me now, why would I keep making excuses for someone that delights in my sorrow? Why would I keep thinking I shouldn’t get angry just because the person who offended has also done something in the past, helped me in the past.

Hahaha, it is a different thing entirely if the issue at hand wasn’t really serious, I mean come to think of it, what kinda friend tells you ” Nah my head catch you” when you fail at something you should excel at?

Feel free to air your opinions, you can do this by commenting, I always reply.
# xoxo

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