As a little girl I could remember how I wanted to grow up so I could wear a bra. It just feel so ‘grownupy’ seeing women around me – wear bras, put off bras, buy bras. It was the ultimate sign of maturity to me, periods and rounder hips could wait. I always have a FOMO – fear of missing out- when I help my mum and aunties unhook their bra. What if I never have breasts? What if I never get to wear a bra and I had to make do with those stretchy singlets little girls wear? But my fears were soon forgotten when the breasts grew even if they weren’t as big as I thought they would be. It was thrilling to finally pretend like I was trying to button my shirt when actually I was showing off my bra straps to my friends. I felt like an adult finally. Yes!
However the excitement of wearing a bra didn’t last, it began to wane when the hooks bore into my back, the straps itch my shoulders and the bra itself felt uncomfortable and constricting. The story changed from wearing bra every time even to bed to looking for every oppotunity not to wear a bra. It just felt better letting it jiggle about instead of stuffing it in the suffocating fabric called bra!
So with the brassiere I began to reconsider whether I wanted to go all the way or not. But I still didn’t learn my lesson, I still wanted to become an adult at all cost.
I waited impatiently and I eventually got a chance at adulthood and my hasty behind has been smarting since. Nobody gave me a heads up, I went head on and smashed into the huge truckload of adulthood. Nobody told me at 21 I would desperately wish there was a time travel machine I can take back to age 8 and stay there forever. Nobody did.
Fellow adults and aspiring ones, behold what adults would never tell you about growing up. Those bunch of slys;
- RESPONSIBILITY: I wasn’t warned about this, I never knew the reason why my mum yells or talk my ears off when I step out of line. I didn’t know it is tough taking care of yourself and your needs not to talk of handling someone else’s. That is someone who is totally dependent on you to make their decisions for them. I learnt the hard way on things I have to do and take care off before it gets too late. I alone suffer for every stupid decisions I make. If I decide to sleep instead of ironing when PHCN brings light in the middle of the night, I alone will go through the pain of looking for another cloth to wear. I waste time in the process and end up going late to work. My grandmother isn’t there to act her usual fairy godmother role of waking up to iron for me.
PAYING BILLS: This, brethren, is the toughest part about growing up. Since everything comes on a platter of plastic for me then. Food – check! Clothes – check! Pocket money – check! I never bothered about anything, mine was to make the request and wait for it to be granted at all costs. But now every silly spending creates a hole in my meagre expenditure. Twice I have fought the urge to buy something random, back then I wouldnt have thought much of it. I wasn’t also told bills will always pop up in different forms and failure to pay up on time will make a pile on your finances in the coming days or months.
- FRUSTRATION: Not one person told me of the frustrations that come with being an adult. The tirade of reporting to someone, delivering on something. Then the issues; money issues, never sufficient fund issue, bad work day issue, relationship issue, housing issue! Frustration and adulthood is like 5&6.
THAT YOU ARE TRULY O.Y.O: Everything you do is entirely yours to reap from or learn a lesson from. Nobody else get affected for every mistake, delinquency or shortcoming but you. This is also a brutal way of letting you know you are totally responsible for yourself as I said earlier. I can no longer call and moan about how my provision finished when it’s just the second week of the month and expect an alert the moment I hang up. I have to squeeze, suffer it all alone and cruise through the two remaining weeks eating my tongue and air.
EVERYBODY EXPECT YOU TO HAVE SENSE!: This is the one I can’t deal with. I practically have to pretend to everybody I meet that I have a little bit of sense. I can’t scream out of the blues and giggle hysterically like I used to, I get weird like that seem to be saying ‘are you normal? Are you normal?’. I mean there are times I just want to go off point and bounce around like I was 5 years old again. There are times you have to fake adult worthy conversation and comportment when you truly want to be like this…
- THAT YOU ARE LIABLE TO MEET REALLY WEIRD SET OF HUMANS: Adults won’t use their mouth to tell you that there are other species of humans apart from the ones you are familiar with. They won’t tell you there are some who would give zero care about your feelings and walk over you like it’s nothing. Or that there are some set of people who think it is proper for them to speak so close to you when their mouth is reeking like a broken sewage pipe. They won’t sit your little self down and tell you there are times they get really pissed at some people but instead of crying, screaming or engaging in fistfight as you would have. They simply smiled and walked away.
They won’t tell you that because they don’t expect you to understand. But then maybe you weren’t meant to understand. Maybe it is better understood when you are also grown up and find yourself in similar shoes.
Adults still keep a lot away from we kids. Which is why we have to savour our youth and patiently wait our turn on the adult ranking ladder.