“Am I your mate? you think I don’t have kids as old as you are? Three of my kids are in the University, the last is not even your mate, because I am… ” BLAH BLAH BLAH.

What is wrong with some folks who think because they have a strip or two of Grey hair they are not supposed to work for their money?
Like I don’t understand, what were they thinking when they got hired, that they are going to be sitting down while they get manicured and pedicured? I am pissed with the way those people think they deserve some respeck simply because they are old enough to be your mama or your daddy, simply because they have kids in school too, simply because nah condition wey make crayfish bend, simply because the *inserts an African Proverb*.

Can they just stopeet? Whoever want respeck would sit in their house and wait for money to come to them, please don’t get me wrong not all old workers are like this, neither are the younger ones better than the old, what I am trying to say is that the way some workers feel privileged to respeck simply because they are old without earning it is annoying!

Yes, I can see you are old, yes I know you are old enough to be my mummy’s age mate, No, you can not compare my mummy and you together, No, I can’t help you with your chores if you don’t ask nicely, No, I can’t still help you with your job because you get paid for it.

Often, I have been a victim of domestic workers bullying, you know those scary side eyes they throw when your parents ask them to do something for you? But they feel offended because they think you are old enough to do it by yourself? Ma, Sir if I was old enough to do it myself you should be relieved of your job because that basically means I am old enough to do it for my parents, still complaining? So, because I am old enough to drive or because I can drive gives you the audacity to mumble in my parents presence when you were asked to drop me off somewhere?

That reminds me of an experience I had at my aunty’s house, her husband instructed his driver to drop me off with the Help, the man meekly collected the keys and we followed him, as we were about to enter the car he began to curse and abuse no one in particular, strong strong curses o, the type that can destroy three generations at a go. I was mortified, I couldn’t even utter a word then he stopped the car at a point and threw the Help a dirty slap
Help: (gasps)
Him: stupid girl, you think I am your mate?
Help: but what did I do?
Me: what did she do?
Him: (turns on the ignition) entering inside car and not even greeting somebody
We: we greeted you!

The help chopped a slap for free and I vowed that would be the last time I would ever greet him. It is annoying how people drag sentiments into every single thing, we should take care of old folks true, we should respect them, true. But it shouldn’t be a compulsive thing to let them off some things they do simply because they are old, the sweepers, toilet cleaners in the secondary schools I attended think it is their right to ask you to do their job for them, they sit behind the school fence and Lord help you if you happen to be at the rightest place at the wrong time, they beg you in choking voices as they wheeze to help them carry buckets of water to the toilet, some even ask you to help them quickly wash the toilet, earnestly praying for you and making sorry faces to prevent you from changing your mind, those that specialize in the side eyes business don’t beg you for anything duh, they are too proud for that, they give you the side eyes when you mistakenly throw the chewing wrapper on the floor, when you toss the groundnut peels out your classroom window, when you absentmindedly discard the newspaper used to wrap the Akara balls because it was getting in the way. They do not want you to make the corridor dirty, they do not want you to fill the bin with biscuit wrappers, they do not want you to stomp your mud clogged sandals against the ground to shake off the inedible brown chocolate clinging to it. So what are they getting paid for? Why won’t you want the floors dirty when it is your job to keep the floors clean and spicking? The thing these workers do not know about students is, if thou ask nicely, thou shalt get it.

Talking about students, I remember an incident that happened in my second year in the University. I was unlucky that year and I couldn’t get the school’s hostel so I got a private hostel instead, there is this prestige to private hostels in my school everyone automatically think you are a rich kid, even those that stay in the school hostel around that side are rezpekted because they stay at PG side. Imagine the height of my shoulder pads when I strut in and out of the hostel, but I wasn’t a cool girl throughout my stay that sorta charisma did not agree with me, pako blood will forever run through my veins. As I was saying, on this beautiful Thursday, Friday or Saturday afternoon one of the cool rich girls in the hostel (chubby/plump/caramel/chocolate/velvety/spot free skinned) went to the common room to paste her room number on the common room wall, she was advertising her makeup skills and asking for patronage, you sabi dat kain student hustle nah? Nah so.

That was how this Porter, Iya Ameen is her name jumped at the girl and asked her to remove it, the girl tried to explain that it is legit and she is advertising her skills ni kinikan kinikan, Iya Ameen refused and the girl pained to the bones hissed in anger, the Porter began to throw insults and say all sort at the girl, the girl was quiet until Iya Ameen said even the girl’s Mum is not her mate that nah condition wey make crayfish bend o. Chai, it was as if somebody used screw driver to loosen the bots in this butty’s head she first started with “never ever ever ever ever in your life…” before launching into a verbal defense against Iya Ameen’s attack, she showed the Porter real shege and when she was done Iya Ameen was sober. I peeped through the window as the girl vexed and passed through the corridor using the Englishes of the world to repeatedly tell Iya Ameen she can never go further than she is presently. People began to aaahn aaahn, huhn huhn this girl is rude but I stopped them, Iya Ameen got was she deserves, the girl was quiet until Iya Ameen mentioned her mama!

So what is the essence of all this epistle? The essence is for me to purge out all my grievances against those workers who feel like bosses when they are supposed to work and wouldn’t humbly do what they ought to do, they think of “how it was”, “how it should be” instead of accepting “how it is”. This is a poor attitude to work, a work should be done no matter what and you are definitely not supposed to be complaining when you are meant to do ya gardarm jab!

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