BIG MOUTH BOULEVARD
From weekday gossips, to weekend vibes, the juicy scoops about my day what I heard and who said what. XOXO gossip girl with Agbero twist!
DEAR NIGERIANS, USING ‘FORK AND KNIFE’ IS NOT BY FORCE
Pssst pssst. Get in here quick I got gist. So I went out few days ago and when hunger sets in, I found myself walking towards Chronicles restaurant because they lied they have free WiFi and we all love awuf. Getting inside, I saw people eating which is perfectly normal but as you know me, I am never satisfied with minding my own business, my eyes strayed and I saw this fresh uncle battling with his chicken. The way he concentrated on cutting his chicken piqued my interest that I almost neglected what brought me there in the first place – food and WiFi. Can you believe uncle Fresh wasted…
‘UNILORINCRAZECLOWN IS A CHEAP BLACKMAILER’ ZEEYARH SAYS
While you were asleep, chatting or chyking your bae via phone call, an Instagram war has reared it ugly head between two students of the University of Ilorin. One Mr Gbolahan aka Unilorincrazieclown have been accused by Miss Moyosore Olawepo aka Zeeyarh of scam and blackmail. In a WHATSAPP broadcast message which circulated yesterday, Miss Moyosore said that Told him I’d pay 2k for 100likes and he ended up tagging friends I already tagged to like the pictures. I didn’t say much and hoped either way I’d get the likes.. Only for him to end up telling I’m paying for tags, tags that were even originally mine.So yes!.. He is…
BODA SAKIRU AND HIS GEHFREN
I am sure you all know by now that if I am not minding my own business, I would be nose deep in yours. Our house is situated among the worst people you would ever find on the planet of the earth. We have call girls, school dropouts, paraga and agbo sellers as neighbours. Directly behind our house is the abode for the omo wobeys in our street. They are the walking chimneys who puff from morning till evening. When they take a break from their puffing and huffing, it is to take a sip from the concoction and kainkain gotten from Iya Basira’s shop. One of the omo wobeys…
DEAR PANCAKE SISTERS!!!
Sisters! Why have you decided to turn yourselves into the Joker’s long lost sibling even though your brows ain’t smiling? With magical potions like concealers, foundations, glitters and your wands – the brushes you use to apply the makeup, you can perform a transfiguration spell that would give Professor McGonagall a run for her money. Sisters why are some of us the enemies of our faces? Why don’t we ever let our faces breath? I have seen ladies with heavy makeup and simple outfits at the stockfish market and I watched in amusement as they tug, curse, sweat and struggle among the throngs of people that mile around the place.…
VALENTINE WAKA WAKA.
Madame don land from de North to de East to de West to de South with Ogbonge tory. Nah so I carry manpikin go waka waka o, in de spirit of valentine wey girls just dey allow boys path dier legs de way Moses path de red Sea. If person no get valentine nah to do correct Aproko, and una suppose don know sey after Aproko nah Aproko, if you sabi do something you must sabi do am well. Aproko hustle is bae, Aproko don dey make sense since 19kpirigidim, Aproko nah talent wey Baba God trowey me from heaven. (**Aside**) Madame you talk too much. Sha sha sha o,…
BORROW BORROW MAKE ME…
That was how I carried my Aproko self out one day o, NEPA has been doing my street wayyo, they held on to electricity like a miser holds on to coins, they messed up my hood so much that the noise of ‘I pass my neighbours’ generator became a ring tone at my side, some people over do it to the point of living it on 24hours non stop, Gbiriiiiiiiiiiiiiiin of the big generator would wake you up from a sweaty mosquito filled sleep that is if you can sleep self, the Kekekekekkekekekeke of the small generator trying to shine would come on at exactly 10pm when nature is about…
MARRIED WOMAN PESTERS MAN FOR SEX
Y’all should get in here! Have you ever been fed with some really shitty things? Have you mistakenly encountered a nasty issue, so so disgusting and annoying that you have to cover your eyes as you read it through, smh I am covering my nose as I blog this. So, it happened that an unidentified woman has been allegedly disturbing a man for sexual liaisons (screenshots below) , the crux of the matter is not clear at the moment, but it could be seen that the woman in the picture is so desperate that she went as far as asking for his account number to send him 300k before the…
AUNTY ADUGBO – OUR FAVOURITE HOOD AUNTY
You should know dem nah? Abi you no sabi wetin I dey yarn ni? All those experienced aunties, the ones wey don parade and waka the whole length and breath of earth, sample different kain soup plus different kain men ontop different different mama puts, restaurants, hotel rooms #coughs Nah dose kain aunties I dey yarn, abeg abeg abeg, if you think sey the above description describe you, no enter my dream for night riding ontop one kain thing wey resemble those things wey dem dey use transport for Harry Potter o, you sabi dah kain thing? That thing wey resemble broom like this, no be resemble sef nah broom,…
STEAMING GIST!!!
It is Sunday! Beautiful morning even though it looks drizzly, seems it’s going to rain, the weather is perfect for a warm blanket and cup of Hot Lipton. So if you are in bed right now texting bae that this is weather for two, then you need deliverance! Hmm hmm, now the gist, there is this news making Facebook go wild right now, okay maybe not Facebook but the circle of the two people involved in this mess, one of them is a blogger #coughsandsipshotTea, she spits all those thought provoking talks on Facebook and all, she is a die hard feminist #chokesonTea, she likes throwing jibes at men who…
HOT TEA AND TALES
Hey guys, top of the morning to you all, the weekend does not look promising enough and I have to admit I am getting fed up already, I can’t wait for Monday, but I hate mondays too. Here is the deal, I have got a hot scoop to share, I don’t even know how to begin #sipsLiptontea. So I discovered a pretty way too young friend of mine that doesn’t exist is hanging out with this way too old daddy with five kids that lives somewhere in the suburbs, he has a house of course, car, good job and well , a wife who is big enough to squash my…
