Pssst pssst. Get in here quick I got gist.

So I went out few days ago and when hunger sets in, I found myself walking towards Chronicles restaurant because they lied they have free WiFi and we all love awuf.

Getting inside, I saw people eating which is perfectly normal but as you know me, I am never satisfied with minding my own business, my eyes strayed and I saw this fresh uncle battling with his chicken. The way he concentrated on cutting his chicken piqued my interest that I almost neglected what brought me there in the first place – food and WiFi.

Can you believe uncle Fresh wasted minutes on the chicken in front of him without realizing he is the architect of his own misfortune? How? I will tell you (Sips zobo). So uncle Fresh decided to use fork and knife to cut and eat his chicken but he apparently doesn’t know how to do that, duh even the knife was in his left hand!.

I was confused on his behalf

It was funny, sad and annoying watching him sweat it out with the stubborn chicken that kept bouncing around in his plate. I was almost tempted to tell him to dump the cutlery and do it the ibile way but home training pulled me back. So I went on with my business with ‘why though?’ ringing at the back of my head?

Why do you have to make a mockery out of yourself in public simply because you want to eat proper though? We have this funny habit of trying to keep up with the Joneses when we are in public or among people we want to impress.

My cousin told me a story of one of her friends from way back. Long long long time ago when there was nothing like blackberry or pinging, when all they had was all these Turella, Sagem, open and close phones, when it was just Bluetooth and Infared and Xender was still a tottling toddler. Her friend went on a date with a love interest and they ordered food and the food was brought to them and the food came and it was rice and there was fork and knife and spoon and she doesn’t know how to use fork and knife but she gats impress prospective bae and she narrated how she made a complete fool of herself. She told my cousin the meat flew as she was cutting it and it landed on the prospective bae’s ‘chet’ (shirt).

Opari, it’s finished

And that brings me to the people who would always request for cutlery even to dig solid. Why must you request for a fork and knife to eat Amala when you know your hand is a better judge in appreciating it softness? People will be talking about how they don’t want to mess their hands and how it is more hygienic to use cutlery. We that use our hands to cut fufu, are we dead yet? why can’t you just chill and live honest though?

Why must you keep copying those who locked your ancestors mouth in the sugarcane plantation so they wouldn’t have a quick bite when they are hungry though? See as you suffer yourself now? Your mouth is watering non-stop because you have already devoured the chicken or meat in front of you in your head but in real life it is moving from one side of the plate to the other. The rice that you couldn’t pack and put in your mouth on time because you are using fork would have been chilling in your belly if you humbled yourself and used a spoon instead.

Why are you content suffering just to impress and look posh though?

Like seriously. Why though!


  1. AvatarSignalsng

    I use spoon to eat solid because thats how i have been eating since childhood. I still use my hand once in a while though but i dont know how to use it in public 😂


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