The woman who follows the crowd will surely go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before – Albert Einstein.

Let’s be honest we have lots of young women claiming feminist and feminism, fine it is a good thing to support women and stand up for equal treatment of women. Of course nobody will derail you for being proud of your sex after all that is what you are and nothing, NOTHING can change that.

However, most modern women have conformed to what is popular and acceptable nowadays, something everybody will mentally give them a round of applause for when commenting on their social media feeds – The idea of an independent woman.

Many women put up different quotes on being a boss lady, strong woman, she who cannot be shaken, she who stands tall in the face of adversaries, she who doesn’t need a man to foot her bills or order her about like a zombie. Of course that is awesome, but are you really independent?

We can claim what we want to claim on social media, the gullible ones with believe it, heck even smart ones believe it too sometimes.

I was surfing on Instagram one day when I stumbled on an Instagram page belonging to a “boss lady” a quick snoop resulted into me plunging into a glam world, designer shoes, bags, trips on private jets out of the country, business class tickets, vacations and other fancy things are what I saw on the page. I surfed till the last picture and there was nothing about what she does and how she earns the money to get all the expensive things plastered across her wall. Show me a woman who works herself off, lavish the good things of life on herself and hides her source of income? None you say, not even in this kind of society where a woman get called a slut for being successful or accuse of sleeping her way to the top. So let me ask again, was that being a boss lady? No!

A boss lady according to urban dictionary is a woman who can accomplish all tasks while remaining beautiful; a good-looking woman in an authoritative position in a business (non-sexual).

How do you define someone who claims to be an independent woman but allows a man define her emotions and it wellbeing? Love is an emotion but when you start throwing tantrums in public and running after the other woman with a shoe is one leg and the other feet bare is not Independence, independent is being capable of standing alone, emotional strength with it without a man. The ability to keep to your cool in the face of a storm, the ability to maintain poise even when you are boiling.

Independence comes with you not seeing other women as threat, lying and spreading tales against other successful women just because you are jealous won’t make you better than they are, you want praises and feel you good when they pour encomiums on you because “you are not like her” tell me how can you be an independent woman if you feel threatened by another woman Independence comes with you being contented with what you have, pride in who you are and strive for what you want.

Letting people ill-treatment of you slide doesn’t mean you are the bigger one and that it is not worth your attention. The truth is, you are the weaker one, you gave power once to them to treat you the way they did, not voicing out your feeling and asserting how you want to be treated will make you more vulnerable to future disrespect and ill-treatment. Being independent start with you deciding how you wish to be treated.

You own yourself and you owe nobody an apology for that, so do not gored into things you do not want to do just because you are being pressured, having sex doesn’t make you independent when you are doing it to please somebody else, having sex does not make you a strong woman when you are doing it because other women have done it. Take charge of your sex life, it may sound funny or out-of-place but an independent woman will not have sex when she doesn’t want to.

Taking charge of your finances will go a long way in building you into a strong independent woman. Oprah commands respect for being a billionaire too, a woman who has her own thing going on for her will have doors opening for her before she bats an eyelid.

However, how you want your success story written depends on you, would you rather be great lying on your back or make history by standing on your feet with your head held high as you break boundaries?

How independent are you?

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