Hey guys, top of the morning to you all, the weekend does not look promising enough and I have to admit I am getting fed up already, I can’t wait for Monday, but I hate mondays too.
Here is the deal, I have got a hot scoop to share, I don’t even know how to begin #sipsLiptontea. So I discovered a pretty way too young friend of mine that doesn’t exist is hanging out with this way too old daddy with five kids that lives somewhere in the suburbs, he has a house of course, car, good job and well , a wife who is big enough to squash my tiny friend in between her palms, she is one of those women that could kill you with the word of mouth, a tale here and there and you are Zzzzit!
But she is nice to a fault and the first day I visited her underwear store with my friend (my friend knows her, I don’t) I don’t have 5000naira to squander on a pair of pants that doesn’t even have a matching bra, even if it does I don’t just have 5000naira to burn, thank you very much. So the first day I visited she offered us drinks, while sipping she started bringing out different arrays of underwears, some so twisted that I could not fathom how people wear them, another has ropes and knots that would take years and sweaty armpits before you succeed in putting them all, I had a field day feasting my eyes and roaming them once in a while to look at another section of the shop where SE# TOYS was written, I could not make out the last word I am so sorry, I tried but I just could not squint my eyes well enough.
We were leaving when dashing daddy breezed in with KFC nylon in his hands, he smelled like a very expensive Cologne and chicken, while my stomach rumbled at the thought of having what he was carrying to my self, my friend’s thought was elsewhere, the hunger made me blind to the extent that I didn’t know when, how, where they exchanged numbers that minute!
The calls began, I never knew it was “Dashing Daddy” until she mentioned his wife’s shop, with my sensitive ears for catching gossip and strong sense of putting two and two together, I realized it was big mummy’s husband! I of course challenged her and she didn’t deny it, she told she wondered what “Dashing Daddy” saw in “Mammoth Mummy” anyways, she started feeding me in on how he spends heavily whenever they are out and about, she has an iPhone, an iPad, a blackberry passport, lots of new shoes, bags and clothes to show for it while I have a techno phone, two peeling bags and one spoilt sandal to show for my gossip (No, don’t pet me, it’s nothing really )
The big deal is my friend is planning to get pregnant for “Dashing Daddy” she said it is a form of security for her future, I had given her my bits of advice but she would not listen, should I just let “MAMMOTH MUMMY(she calls her that) know or what?