Lately I have been so busy doing NOTHING, well I always knew I was the lazy type, but it is not my fault is it? I get bored when things get too monotonous, I like me some adventure now. But it is not only my laziness that is affecting my productivity and participation in things that would benefit me, Recession is disturbing me and millions of Nigerians, yes, Recession is responsible for all that is wrong with me!
The word Recession got introduced into the Nigerian Advanced Dictionary of Nigerian English few weeks ago, am sure majority of Nigerians found the word funny and scary, it sounds like a miracle at times when you roll your tongue around the ‘R’ and you slowly pronounce the ‘ION’ no wonder every Nigerian looks for one opportunity or the other to pronounce the word, right now my brain is on Recession.
Recession according to the uncles and aunties of the Google family is a period of temporary economic decline during which trade and industrial activity are reduced, generally identified by a fall in GDP in two successive quarters.
Recession is now the devil affecting we Nigerians, I got my sallah cloth late because my Tailor told me the recession affected the sewing, recession affected the prices of foodstuffs in the market, recession has tripled the price of beverages as well, recession has made people more stingy, this recession has frustrated the lives of almost everyone.
Everybody is chewing the word RECESSION on their lips like Sallah meat, even couples can no longer have “fun” because of recession, nobody wants a recession baby now, any RECCESIONAT, RECCESIONSON wouldn’t be welcomed at this point in time, imagine if the babies are now two? RECCESION trouble! I heard the price of contraceptives have skyrocketed as well? What would hapless couples who are struggling to make ends meet in this Recessive period do? Don’t ask me how I knew contraceptives are now expensive o!
Everybody wears a recession face now, nobody has time for unnecessary frowning again, the misers have something to pin down as the reason why their hands are stiff like that of an handicap, even politicians are not flaunting their loot up and down anymore, nobody wants to get stoned for denying people of the fruits of their sweat!
A trip to the market leaves someone shopping for food items in tears, a thousand naira note can not buy you Tin milk, milo and sugar anymore, a small loaf of bread is now 50 naira, why!
Schools have resumed already and parents are at loss at what to do, while some contemplate withdrawing their wards from the school that is now expensive to a much more affordable one others have turned to emergency teachers who now teach their wards in the comfort of their room, if care is not taken recession would start affecting students in Nigerian tertiary institutions as well, as Yoruba would say ‘Iru ishe wo lopolo fe se lai s’okun ninu’ meaning the brain cannot function effectively while the stomach is hungry, it would not be easy attending classes when worms gnaw at your intestines, if the government refuses to pay it workers salary because of recession the brains of the children of those workers would also go on Recession! Why? Where would their parents get the money to cater for their needs in school? Eh?
I don’t even know what to type anymore, I think my brain is also going on Recession.