Omg omg omg!
I ken’t keep calm, I mean really? What? Just? Happened?
It is my blog’s birthday peeps, I am short of words, I don’t even know what to type. I was looking forward to talking about inspiring stuff and all but I am blank. Oh well, let’s talk about how this journey started then.
This time last year, I was sweating inside the taxi, the traffic jam at Tanke was out of this world, I kept checking my phone every time. There was somewhere I ought to be by 11pm prompt but you know how humans can be nah. I actually told the person I was going to meet that I was almost there. I can still feel the sweat as it slides down my armpit that day.
Twenty minutes after, I was sitting pretty at Royals, one of the best eateries in Ilorin, looking out through the window. I am super shy around people I just meet (ask anybody around) my eyes will be pushing me and to stare into your eyes will become a problem. After soaking my gown with sweat (it was a surprise I wasn’t dripping as I left Royals that day) the laptop was pushed across the table to me and I was asked to upload my first post, my moist hands slipped on the keyboard. I didn’t know what to type, far away is the voice of the demon yelling “failure, failure shame on you” I was hot and cold at the same time. I had to take a deep breath, look around for inspiration but all I saw was couples cannodling over their meals, the waiters serving food, cleaners mopping the floor, the TV showing a movie no one was watching. Then it clicked, why not use the person sitting right next to me? This is someone I had unnecessary beef with for years, and we don’t even know why we hate each other. So I realized what we had is a Frenemy Encounter. Type tap type tap tap tap. I was done already.
And that was how I began to update the blog everyday. I was so happy and fulfilled the first week I opened the blog. It was all I ever wanted, a platform where I can express myself and share thoughts with people, and the feedbacks? They were awesome. My Aunty, cousins, friends and people I have never met were all interested in my blog. I was few numbers away from a thousand views in the first week.
Then it went on and on until depression crept in. I was fed up with myself at a point. I wanted my blog to take a course but I didn’t know how to make that a reality, I was just posting and putting up random things, I wanted my blog to have a voice but it just look like one childish scrapbook to me.
Then I decided to have the big break!
From middle of June till ending of July. I stopped any form of activity on the blog. I didn’t care what happens, I even wanted to close it and just forget about it because whenever I want to try and post something new, that demon tells me “who are you kidding, continue writing nonsense up and down sogbo“?
It was hide and seek with me, my fears and the blog. Until I faced my fears and I posted whatever rubbish I like. It is my blog I will remind myself as I type down rubbish.
The rubbish led to something that began to take a form. I kept on, and on and on. And here we are today. I still have a lot to say, but I can’t say it all.
I have had my share of frustrations with network, people who wouldn’t reply my interview questions, mistakenly clearing a post without having a backup and then this general “why don’t you post news and celebrity gossip instead? Those two things sell now” and I vehemently reply with NO! If anybody needs to read news there are thousands of blogs that can be gotten from, not to talk of hundreds of thousands of celebrity gossip blog, so No!. They tried to make me see reason but I still tell them NO!, “why don’t you allow this person to post this on your blog”, once I check the content and it doesn’t agree with what I want for my blog, I yelp NO! “Kaothar why don’t you put this news on the blog”, NO! “Kaothar have you heard this one has a blog too? You have a competition niyen o” NO! NO! NO! “Kaothar you like too much aproko, you want to post what we are saying on the blog”? NO! it doesn’t interest me, NO! NO! NO! Including all the NOs of the world. Nothing anyone say to make me feel awful about my blog gets to me. It inspires me instead, to do better, be better and be a force to be reckoned with.
It has been a frustrating-wonderful journey and I appreciate everyone who read, comment and share my blog. Kanzahnians, you guys rock! I hope to address you again this time next year and hopefully then, I would have hit it big enough to afford a giveaway. Love love love