Lately they have been talking. They always talk but lately they have been talking too much. Gibberish and jibby jabber. They said using codeine is bad! They said weed makes you run mad. They said if you take tramadol too much you will die! We know yes we know but what is it to you what we do with our lives? What do you bother? You have never bothered. You all are yapping because you need to save face. You ignored us for long and pretended to see us only when BBC dangled your torn undies in the open.
BBC mocked us. They said it’s a documentary but they mock us. I am so angry that the anger burns in my chest like coal embers that get fanned from time to time. Sometimes when I hold my chest for long I feel it get too hot from the anger flaming within.
I am angry at the self righteous people who readily jump up to condemn me. Me and the others. They said we are touts, peers who have given into pressure. They said we need help else we become mentally unstable. They said some of us have gotten way out of hand. We are addicts. They are also doing one nonsense awareness over drug use. Someone even told me few days ago that codeine has been banned in Nigeria. Foolish people. Koko is still everywhere and in high demand the only thing this useless people did is to make the price go higher. Now I have to buy it for thrice it original price.
What was I saying again? I can’t remember and I don’t want to scroll back before my eye lids give in to the need to come together and stay shut. Emptying a bottle of codeine into one’s system is enough to make one fall into a drunken stupor. Please don’t start the talk about how it messes with my system. I know that and I am not complaining.
So like I said you lots have been furious with your war against drugs. I can see your stupid whatsapp statuses, the stupid Twitter champions. The jobless attention hungry wimps on Facebook. All of you thirsty for attention and the need to look like you are on the straight part. I spit on your hypocrisy. What have you done for my lots except crucify and reel out senseless speeches with your pious mouth! How do you look at me when you sniff the drugs on me? Wasn’t it that withering look only self righteous people use that you bestowed upon me? I wonder why you are quick to go on the net to talk trash when you don’t really know the crux of the matter. Hypocrite!
I haven’t forgotten the politicians with their halfhearted campaigns. The whole charade is another game to them. What do they care about drug abuse when they sniff crack in the comfort of their plush cars, mansions and offices. Who are bunch of crackheads to tell me what is good for me and what isn’t? Who are they to open their filthy mouth and tell me what is harmful. I see their kids every time when they cruise their posh cars to the shack I get my weed. The array of things they buy and how readily they pay for it doesn’t surprise me. What does is their parents statements. Who are these people to tell us what to do?
When nobody listened to us while we were in need of help why should we listen to them now? You expect me to read for 3 different examinations that I have in a day when I am tired and can’t think straight. You tell me not to take tramadol because it is bad but that is the only thing that can make me read for hours without blinking an eye. Perhaps you should start with lecturers and school authorities and tell them to fix up their unfair system.
I would rather be unaware of how crooked my life is than to live everyday with realization staring straight into my eye. I would rather be in drug induced abyss than torture myself with the senseless exertion of this world.
Continue crucifying me and my lots. Keep throwing stones at us and hurling insults. Keep at it with your snide remarks and castigations while you hail on the rich and mighty. I hope you know they also take drugs but maybe you turn a blind eye to that because theirs is designer and much more expensive. Keep at it. Keep hailing them while I take a joint to every dance of scorn you do behind my back. Your accusatory fingers as they point at reminds me of rolls of weed. Your curse words following. I am here in my bedroom choking in a cloud of smoke. None of you care, not that I want you to. Everyone of you is worse than the demons I am fighting.
Please keep our names out of your mouth. Stop looking at us like we grind human skulls on sacrificial slabs. Stop cursing us like we are the ones heaping huge chunk of the national pudding on our plates. We are not the ones sipping allocations with straws.
Stop making us look like we are responsible for all of Nigeria’s problems.
This post doesn’t encourage drug use but rather tries to show things from a drug user’s perspective. Help someone today by urging them to check into a rehabilitation centre.