Have you ever stepped on a Nigerian mother’s toes? Were you brought up by one? I need to know so that I’d be rest assured that there are people out there who are currently experiencing what I have experienced and would continue to experience.

Nigerian mothers are just too hahaha, I don’t know the word I can use to describe them. They are the creatures on earth that can annoy, frustrate and make you laugh at the same time.

From scathing remarks like telling you, you look like a bingo for wearing choker, to sarcastic replies that’d leave you confused and wonder whether they actually meant what they just said or they were being sarcastic!. A Nigerian mother would blame the phone you are always pressing as the reason why you are down with malaria, like seriously!.

All that aside, they have a feeling of entitlement over all their kids, they feel there is something the kids ought to do for them without being told. That they must know they have to do it naturally EVEN without being told!.

A Nigerian mother expects you to know that her head is aching by rolling her eyes at you when you ask for the key to the store, she would go mute and stare fixed ahead while you stand there confused not knowing where to turn to. Questions imploring her to tell you what is wrong will get you a “are you blind or can’t you see that I have headache” answer.

Nigerian mothers expect you to like everyone they like even if the person in question is someone you have sworn with in heaven never to see each other eye to eye, they don’t care “she is nice to me, he is nice to me and greets me, you have to greet her/him too” is what you’d get. Your mother can go for days acting grumpy around you just because you refused to laugh when Bose threw a joke at you, just because you added “o” to the back of good afternoon to whomever it is she loves. She would term your “o” malicious and starts lecturing you on good behaviors and social etiquette.

A Nigerian mother will never tell you to your face to stop talking to whomever she has a fight with, she expects you to take her sides because oh yes, she is your mother! If you do not support her, who will you support? When you try to be neutral, a Nigerian mother calls you a hypocrite, when you try to let her see the reason why she ought not to fight with whom you are fighting with, she calls you the emissary whom her enemies has sent on a mission to ridicule her. The funny thing is, she would be the first to call you rude and disrespectful when she makes up with the person and you are still helping her keep malice with her ex-beef partner. After all, it is her fight not your fight.

Nigerian mothers feel you have to consult them first before telling your dad anything, be it collecting money for a new book, delivering a message someone brought for your dad, telling your dad about what happened when you went out, advising your Dad on how to go about some issues. They believe you must always support them when they are in disagreement with your Dad and if you don’t a Nigerian mother would feel slighted by this perceived betrayal behaviour from her child, whom she suckled for three years. The child she backed and used her mouth to draw mucus from his or her nose. She would beat her hands on her breast and shake her head from side to side. When you try to tell her she is over reacting, she uses the only line she knows how to use best against you.
But I am your mother!.

I hope I am not alone? What are your own experiences. Nigerian mothers are still the best by the way. #xoxo


About Kanzah

I am not cute or built to suit a fashion model size, but when i start to tell them, they think am telling lies, i say, it is in the reach of my arms, the span of my hips. I am a woman phenomenally, phenomenal woman,that's me - Maya Angelou.

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