Someone committed a grievous offence in my workplace yesterday. Think: a store attendant helping a customer to steal goods from the store. Exactly! It was a serious case, and stakeholders in the team sprung into action, but surprisingly, a manager began to plead on behalf of the guy. She even went as far as pleading for him not to spend a night in a cell.

Now, I was angry for two reasons: the first being the fact that she reinforced a stereotype about women in leadership positions being emotional and not firm, and the second, that she exhibited the typical behaviour of many Nigerians. That “abeg nah” mentality that makes us believe EVERY CRIME SHOULD BE FORGIVABLE!

Nigerians believe “sorry” should suffice when it is uttered. Someone’s kid could be killed and the family of the perpetrator, or an oversabi uncle or aunty in the neighbourhood, would expect the victim’s family to let it all go because they have been told “sorry.” In fact, just today on IG, I saw a comment under a post where someone shared that a thief had tried to make away with two phones in their store. Someone replied with “please forgive.” Imagine forgiving someone who confessed to the store owner that he’s been stealing since 200 level! I am fed up and I hate it.

The lack of consequence in our society at large is why we are where we are, and every year it seems to get worse. In fact, a major reason why governance has worsened and our country has turned into a satirical comedy is because there is absolutely no consequence for any action committed by the bunch meant to govern us. What does that say? That the next set of people will get there and do worse!

A position where I saw my predecessor steal billions and get rewarded with a chieftaincy title and a ribbon-cutting celebration? I no go steal too keh?

From governance to the rot in the education system, to femicide and all sorts of societal havoc—the lack of consequence is the major reason why our society is the way it is.

Why should I give a damn when I know I can kill someone and still be covered, so far as I know someone at the top? Why should I care when I know I can commit any form of financial crime and all that would come of it is me being paraded in cuffs before eventually walking free after pledging allegiance to the right political party? Why should a senator care about scandals when he knows that no matter what, he’ll retain his seat and could even run in the next elections and still secure it? WHY DO YOU THINK THESE PEOPLE WOULD CARE OR CHANGE?

A senator beat the brakes off a woman in a sex toy store. Something that should have caused a scandal strong enough to make this man disappear from politics forever, but what happened? We saw our current First Lady, formerly a senator, interrogating this man who was still talking smack and acting erratic, and what did she say? “Do you want us to protect you or not?”

Nothing like “Senator, that was a very serious crime you committed.” Nothing admonishing him for the insanity he displayed. No psychological evaluation. No mandatory psychiatric treatment. Just a straight discussion on how to protect him, like they were a gang defending another gang member. Us against them. Little wonder the Senate President was unfazed by allegations of sexual harassment. Why should he care? Even the case of assault by a sitting senator with video evidence did nothing—talk less of the claims of a woman whom society already judges for being too attractive.

I remember a proverb my mother often used when she was advising me on safety and well-being. She would say “enu la ma fi so, idi la ma fi joko e.” This is a Yoruba proverb that basically means it’s important to protect yourself from being slighted or hurt because at the end of the day, it may only end in settlement without you getting justice.

A part of me also feels some Nigerians imagine themselves being the ones to commit such crimes. Maybe evil really does reside in the hearts of multitudes, because there are several who camp under posts about killers who got apprehended, or child rapists or sexual offenders, with yearnings like:

“Forgive and forget”

“He has shown remorse already nah”

“Shey nah until you destroy this person’s life?”

Like the person didn’t destroy someone else’s life. It is alarming how a Nigerian can defend anything! Once, I saw group of women defending their husband’s right to walk free after molesting a child in their care so long as he apologizes.

Is this not insanity as a collective? What the heck is wrong with us?!