2 Comments on THE LAST TIME I CRIED.

I really don’t think am that kinda toughie some people think I am, I actually am a marshmallow, I am just like butter, I melt away at the slightest provocation. I have always been way too emotional as a child, little senseless things get to me, things like ; why I got a kidney on top of my rice instead of a beef, why my hair refused to go down whereas everybody’s hair is down, at times I shed tears for good reasons too, there was this one time I wanted to go to a scout camp and my grandfather wouldn’t let me, I had to cry my eyes out, and being someone that hates to see me cry, he had no choice than to oblige and grant me my request. I cried while watching movies, when I read about hunger, disease and suffering in the world, my heart breaks everytime I come across pictures of kids in Syria and other war torn countries. I could go on and on.
The last time I cried was on Tuesday, like around 1:00am or so I guess, the tears didn’t actually run as I thought they would but my eyes were misty so it is as good as crying, right? right? I thought about my life and life’s life itself, why we humans would not just read in between the lines and get a grip on our stupid foolish selves, I thought of myself as an idiot who is really good at creating excuses for myself and people, I ended up mastering the art of making excuses for people while trying to stop blaming people for their actions or inactions, so I cried… On my bed, the blue bedsheets my grandmother gave me got rumpled and the pillow got wet, I cried as I tried to finish the novel “Oliver Twist”, I cried while trying to get a clue to what am really crying over, and so the sad music comes on, I mused over really sad photos and I drifted off when my eyes could take no more
I prefer to cry alone most times, because I look really funny whenever I cry, and people actually get too sympathetic, but I am always like “will you just rub my scalp or prepare me hot chocolate” ? I don’t want to be budged with consolations and all those silly talks when I cry, you should offer to take me out to eat or get me a really cute present to stop my tears, keep your tissues and give me a nice bottle of perfume instead, that should stop the train of tears on my face.
How do you purge yourself of pent up emotions? Would you rather go to a deserted place and yell? That doesn’t work for me, Do you write poems? This is really soothing and a fun way to let go of really sad things and situations, Do you smoke it away? I have never tried this! Do you take long walks instead? I seldom try this I may end up walking to the end of the world… Just kidding!


About Kanzah

I am not cute or built to suit a fashion model size, but when i start to tell them, they think am telling lies, i say, it is in the reach of my arms, the span of my hips. I am a woman phenomenally, phenomenal woman,that's me - Maya Angelou.

2 thoughts on “THE LAST TIME I CRIED.

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