Salam Salam, it is Ramadan and I, your sister in Islam reminds you yet again to away from Haram. Lol, who loves my rhyme?
It’s me again and I am here to treat you to another wonderful episode of uhm, Ramadan blues. Hope that made sense? Uhn, if it doesn’t bear with me, it’s hard thinking straight when your mouth is dry and your brain is following suit.
So, the other time I did a recount of how Ramadan was while I was growing up. It was fun sharing that experience, it brought back some memories I didn’t know existed.
One of the beautiful things about Ramadan is, it reduces the way I go all out when talking, okay not like I mince words but there are just some things you have to stop yourself from saying else everyone goes
” But it’s Ramadan”
As beautiful as Ramadan is, there are some moments you can’t help but feel down, you know. That feeling you have when your Mother lifts the meat from your plate of jollof rice and throws it into her mouth? Chai! That feeling that makes your tummy churn in fury but you have no choice than to grumble under your breath? Those times in Ramadan when some not-awful but still painful things happen to you, and you have to swallow your sorrows and mumble “Masha Allah” because you don’t want to come off as ungrateful?
So what are those things that happen during Ramadan that makes one feel like yelling till one’s lungs get hoarse?
– Seeing your menstrual period few minutes to Iftar : Sisters, get in here! How does it feel like fasting the whole day and seeing specks of red few minutes before the Adhan? Pain that is indescribable, huge sorrow and despair, the first time it happened to me. I wish I hadn’t gone to the toilet to pee, if only I stayed a bit longer in the kitchen to help them with the meals? I would have counted it as a whole after all I didn’t know I was “on” till I broke my fast right? What hurts even more is when there isn’t enough for you to munch when you are off Ramadan, double sorrow. It is like getting cut with blade and having someone pour salt on it. I ken’t mehn, hurts much.
– Not Waking up for Sahur:
Who else feels like smashing themselves on the floor when they forget to wake up for Sahur? I seldom have problem with fasting when I don’t eat during Sahur but it hurts when I have this huge plan and tantalizing meal in mind for Sahur and I just didn’t wake up. I will end up with a sour face throughout the day.
– Seeing your little Siblings eat: Aaargh! Those kids don’t know when to eat and not rub it in your face like “I can eat and get away with it” I always feel like I am being mocked when my siblings eat. Then they make it worse by taking their time or exclaiming excitedly about how delicious the meal is, what is most annoying is when they ask me to give them more helpings and I can’t give them the devil stare because it is Ramadan, and I have to swallow and mentally block my nose to stop myself from inhaling the wonderful smell of well cooked stew.
– Inability to be Savage: Ramadan is that moment when your savagery has to be on the down low, you can’t afford to use your tongue to rip someone inside out. The month comes with peace and restraint from things that threaten another person’s peace or make them feel awful. So, every savage statements that rushes to my tongue get swallowed back inside, and people who need good washing/setting and some verbal discipline go scot free while I am there looking at them like.
– When you have tons of food around during Iftar but you can’t finish everything: *sniffs* This hurts, it hurts. Imagine staring at pieces of dodo you can’t force down your tummy, chicken laps that has soaked up pepper that you can’t push through your throat, wraps of moimoi in it full glory that winks at you as it takes an interesting poise beside the perfect creamy bowl of pap that has no lumps, imagine staring at all that as your chest heaves up and down due to overeating. The feeling of pity that comes with food that are unfortunate enough not to get eaten by you and you have to watch as it is given to someone else who has enough space in their tummy to occupy it all.
– When food isn’t ready on time: Just kill me, no, take this knife and slit Mt throat. How can I fast all day and get to the kitchen at 7:15 pm expecting a coveted place filled with all that matters most in the world at that moment and I see it inside a covered spot still simmering and looking nowhere close to being done? Kill me! This hurts the most, omg. I had to save it for the last, I slowly move to one corner and cry silently. Then I get all emotional and began to think of those that couldn’t even break their fast with water and then I cry harder and begin to pray for the Muslim ummah, the beggars and the students who have to resort to Indomie everyday. For they have to fast and study. And the single brothers who don’t know jack about preparing meals, I pray for them all, even though I don’t know them. I pray for them. And I cry harder and harder until one of my siblings tap me on the shoulder and place a big bowl of hot Tuwo and Gbegiri in my hand.
Can you relate to any of these? Do you have some experiences that touches during Ramadan as well? You can share them below.
May Allah continue to give us the strength to persevere. Ameen.