This is the second part of the types of people you’d meet in a Nigerian university girls hostel, read the first part here.

– CELINE DION: They are the Omawunmi, Adele and Enya put into one, they have beautiful sonorous voice they use in disturbing the peace in the hostel at times, they wake you up on a Saturday morning with Girl on fire by Alicia Keys, but you won’t be able to go fight them. Their soothing vocals will make you forgive them of their sins as it lulls you back to sleep before you could finish contemplating whether to go tell them to keep quiet or reduce their voice.
> > How to make them mad at you: Start playing music loudly they started singing.

– THE STINGY KOKO: They are the Queen misers, they don’t joke with their 50 Naira, they have a calculator brain and would remember the 10 Naira you borrowed to buy Indomie two weeks ago. They measure out their foodstuff before cooking and cook for themselves only. They are very frugal when it come to spending and they can go mean on themselves at times. They’d rather drink Garri alone than buy sugar and groundnut to go with it.
> > – How to make them mad at you: Borrow a huge sum of money from them and disappear.

– THE PROFESSIONAL RUNS BABE: They are high maintenance, hostel bunks and beds are too “razz” for them, so they spend the night on different places in and out-of-town. Their bed is seldom slept in. Their roommates barely see them and during exams when they show their faces, they are often for mistaken for thieves that had come to rob.
> > – How to make them mad at you: Lecture them about the dangers of premarital sex, tell them stories of girls that got used for rituals by their man friends.

– MOTHER THERESA: They are students turned mothers, they cater to everyone’s need, they know who needs food, they wake people up when it’s time to pray and time for class they tend to everyone who falls sick in their block, they specially go to the market to shop for pepper soup ingredients for whoever catches flu. Their overgrown babies mile around them when they come back from outings. They are angels that over play the kindness role.
> > – How to make them mad at you: I honestly don’t know how but they refused to get mad at people (lol)

– THE MUAs/CATERERS/BUSINESSWOMEN: You’d always see their advertisement at the common room, some do door to door advertisement and they sweep their eyes all over your room when they poke their heads in through the door.
> > – How to make them mad at you: Employ their services and do not pay when their services have been rendered.

What other types of people have you encountered in the University hostel that weren’t listed above? You can drop a comment, I always reply.


About Kanzah

I am not cute or built to suit a fashion model size, but when i start to tell them, they think I am telling lies, i say, it is in the reach of my arms, the span of my hips. I am a woman phenomenally, phenomenal woman,that's me - Maya Angelou.


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