In the beginning, it was beautiful it made sense, we loved it. We awwww and wow over it, you would be caught up in the romance and want to grab a random person to the altar the next minute and it kept getting better and better as the days go by.

What started as a boring and not too important part of a wedding preparation slowly took the centre stage in a social media influenced bizarre turn of events, everyone was used to the old-fashioned boring wife and husband pose, you know the typical Naija couple pose where the husband sits on a chair or the wife does and then one of them holds the other from the back or on the neck, or the together forever pose where they sit side by side and smile for the camera or the Mummy and Daddy G.O crusade advertisement pose. Like nobody gave rat weets about a pre-wedding photo shoot then, some couples even forget about it until the last minute, which is why we see some funny looking pictures where the bride and groom look really…off.

Kim and Kanye wannabe

When the trend started I don’t think I know, how it did? I don’t know but I could remember a relative got married around 2013 and a glossy pink and red jotter which contained their pre-wedding photos was part of the souvenir, it was epic, it was like the bestest thing that ever happened after Dodo, I kept staring at the couples for days in awe that I totally forgot to paint their eyes and draw whiskers on their cheeks. Then I saw much better and creative ones on my cousin’s laptop, awesome pictures, amazing concepts, pictures that say ‘hey, here is romance’.

It was making sense until people started to overdo it, pre-wedding photo shoot is now part of the wedding budget, like you can’t even plan your wedding without taking into consideration the pre-wedding photoshoot, would-be couples develop unnecessary headache about concepts, outfits, location and what not. Some don’t even mind going broke and borrowing money just to look lit in their pre-wedding photos, like seriously? The painful part of the whole charade is that nobody cares at the end of the day what their pre-wedding photos was all about, people attend weddings for different reasons and looking at thousands of photos certainly isn’t one of them, I can’t come for your wedding and sit through a video playing the thousands of pre-wedding photos you took, puhleez I came for the jollof.

Who brought Maleficent to Nigeria?

Pre-wedding shoot is now being carried on the head like oshuka, I am specifically referring to Nigerians in this regard, would-be Nigerian couples to be precise, aunty and uncle pls was the proposal show you held not enough? Is it a must for you to stunt for the gram? Who are you outdoing with your concepts? When a far better one would come up the next minute? What about your marriage? Are you going to be staring at your pre-wedding photos when things get rocky and you guys need to sit through it, talk about it and fix it? I am not understanding.

Whose relatives are those?

The true essence of marriage has been neglected for the glam and glitz of wedding, all every one is interested in is the show off, five minutes of fame on Instagram and one day trending on Twitter, every couple wants to be featured on Wedding Digest, BellaNaija and other wedding pages scattered on Instagram, they live for the likes and comments and what happens if people don’t comment, will you die?

Some shoots are downright annoying and totally inappropriate for a pre-wedding photo shoot, your hand will be hungrying you to just dash the couples involved a burnt slap. Some do not make sense one bit, some would make you scream ‘what a wawwu!’. I wonder what the photographers were thinking when they bring up some concept and how they manage to convince the couples to agree to that wonderful stupidity, some pictures turn out looking like the bride and groom’s brain has been frozen for the pictures to be taken cus you can’t help screaming what the heck!

Like this one, how did the photographer convince them?

I see some pre-wedding photos and hold my chest like Chisos, what if they died? You will see some couples carrying themselves to the top of mountain Kilimanjaro to snap, some will go and do love dance in front of Lions, some will carry themselves to sing an Indian song on the railroad. What is wrong with you all!!! Then those photographers come out at the end of the day to defend their works saying it is creativity, creativity keh? Since when did creativity become wonderful stupidity? A wonderful stupidity is when you stand on the railings of a bridge to take pre-wedding photos with your sweetie just because it is going to turn out nice.

I ken’t deal, I just ken’t.

When will this trend end? I am not talking about the normal sensible pre-wedding photos, I am talking about the silly and totally uncalled for overzealous desperado modeling called pre-wedding photos. I just can’t and won’t see the sense in this whole idea of going extra for a shoot, love doesn’t need effort, love doesn’t need force and you need not display all those action just to show the world you are getting married, the world is a movie on its own. Cut!


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