1 Comment on WHEN LOSING IT, IS NOT WORTH IT.

Are there times you stifle your screams just because you realized it is a total waste of your voice? When you swallow anger that has clogged your throat like a phlegm back into your stomach? Have you almost acted out of rage and let your animalistic instinct take over but instead you dust your shoulders and move on saying “ain’t nobody got time for that”?.

Never in my wildest imagination did it occur to me that I can master a cool outward appearance when I am seething with anger, I won’t deny there are occasions that demand I laugh at annoying things or ignore them and move on but they have never been as close and persistent as the one I am encountering recently. Before I go further, what do you call someone who knows what you dislike and still goes ahead to do it despite your pleas that what is being done affects you, what is such a person called?

I am burdened with someone who absolutely lacks respect for the tiniest shred of human feelings, compassion and proper treatment of fellow human beings has been erased from her dictionary and oh yes, she can as well be likened to those hordes of birds who gather on Palm tress and make noises that is neither musical to the human ear nor sensible. The “kreekreekreee” harsh sounds of those Bats would make you toss in frustration when you try to catch a mid-day nap, their “kreereeekreee” disturbs you till evening and if you are unfortunate enough, you wake up to it in the morning.

How my sensitivity to noise began still baffles me till date, I used to be a heavy sleeper that can snore loudly even when a big thick stainless steel spoon is being clanged against an iron bucket. I was lucky to have five roommates in my first year who understood that I needed a good night rest devoid of noises that can not be reduced to whispers and grunts. (Lol, all hail the Queen). They comply partly because they were still welcoming me as fresher and the fact that I sleep talk when I am disturbed in my sleep and the few times I did it had them shaking their heads in mock pity for me, that doesn’t mean the oldest lady in the room wouldn’t sing nonstop for thirty minutes every Saturday morning at exactly 6:00am or 6:30am.

Imagine the frustration of staying in a room with fewer roommates and senseless babble of nonsenses from dusk till dawn despite pleadings, warnings and weak acts of revenge which I eventually shook my head and stop myself from doing. There are times I would feel like rushing to where the phone is being played loudly and smash it to the ground before I get stopped, there are other times I wish I could cast a lock-jaw spell on the chattering birds in my room but then I ask myself, is it worth it? Is anybody worth you acting like an animal even when they do the same? Are you supposed to stoop to their level? No.

These are times that I appreciate my grandmother for making me see why I ought not to raise the volume of the Television set, my phone when listening to music and my voice when receiving phone calls especially at night because she believes everybody deserves a good night rest. Even does that do not deserve it deserve the calm that comes with the night. Apparently not every one is fortunate enough to have authority figures that stress the importance of social and personal etiquette. Shaking my head for this deplorable society.

I walk away physically and mentally instead of doing those vices I mentioned up there and would rather ignore than flare up or just listen to good of’music. Did I hear someone say “talk to your roommates and stop blabbing here” No, I wouldn’t for no one needs to be told not to make noises when someone in the room is trying to study for an examination.

I will very much appreciate earmuffs as a gift right now!


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