Life according to me.
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In Conversations with Insanity
I have decided to embrace the insanity wholly. No more fighting it. Let it all burst at the seams and come undone. Let it all burn and let me laugh wickedly as the cinders blow in the air. I have h...
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The Crazy Thing About Mother Nature
What is it? Haven’t you done enough? The cramps! The stains!! The torture!!! From blinding headaches that my friends complain about to the tooth pain I experienced back-to-back in 2022. Yes, Mother...
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Confessions of a Gym Girlie – The One About the Crush
His simple grey top and shorts became extraordinary. I tried to give a poetic explanation for why he wore grey that day when he usually wore blue. Insanity, I know, but I am well versed in the art ...
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Danfo Diaries – 28.05.2025 (Naked bumbum special)
I saw a naked man today, under the bridge on Gbagada Expressway. Bare, brown, hard butt, bathing in the full glare of the morning sun. Not a care in the world.
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Babe, How Far Nah?
Once outside again, we wove through groups of richly dressed guests in different shades of purple, feeling like small fishes in a sea of sharks wearing Cartiers, Swarovskis, Montblancs and Marottos...
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Are We Living or Just Performing for the Camera?
This is not new. People go to the cinema and spend half of the time sending streaks of most of the movie to their streak list. People go bowling and would rather record angles and videos to share l...
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Like a Gorilla in a F*cking Zoo!
It’s been seven months since Maroof left for America for further studies and greener pastures where the fields are well-watered and the taps don’t run dry. I was, unfortunately, as my mother-in-la...
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In the Mirror of Time
There is no greater joy than realizing the person I was a decade ago could only dream of who I am today. This is why I honour time. This is why I am devoted to change, to movement, to becoming.
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The Real HotBoy of Lagos
“You dey baff soap?” Calypso questioned looking at him with suspicion. Dele smiled politely nodding his head no. The boys held on to Dele asking him to flex them for the weekend. Calypso beckoned...
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The ‘’Abeg’’ Mentality and Nigeria’s Culture of No Consequence
Nigerians believe “sorry” should suffice when it is uttered. Someone’s kid could be killed and the family of the perpetrator, or an oversabi uncle or aunty in the neighbourhood, would expect the vi...
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I Am Not One of Them
Then came Sandra. She was found in the pantry, eyes wide open. Dead.
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One Day It Will Make Sense
It was when I got home that it all dawned on me. They could have jazzed me and stolen my breasts while I was busy muttering “amen, amen” to his prayers. But I was looking for money, like millions o...
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Almost, Amal…
I would’ve searched for her beneath the seven seas or climbed every mountain. I would’ve trekked the length of Yusufari and swum the breadth of the Atlantic just to see her again and ask—why?
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The Art of Ass Licking also known as Famzing one’s Way to The Top
Slurping expensive shit, just so that one day, someone will go down and do the same for them, stick their tongues up their own asses and bring them to earth-shuddering euphoria from “egorgasm” with...
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Danfo Diaries – 08.04.2025
Some passengers shouted from the back, asking for their change. The driver yelled back, telling them to shut up and let the conductor do his job without distraction. Another passenger shouted back,...
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They Will Say We Crossed the Waters
“It just doesn’t make sense to quit a banking job in Nigeria and start washing toilets over there.” “You should know there’s a certain level—” “Imagine my cousin crying to me over the phone a...
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From FUPA to Abs: A Hilarious Relatable Gym Experience
You would think that someone like me, who sometimes has to chase after danfo like Arjun chasing after Priya in an Indian love story, would be fit. You would think the incessant trekking from one en...
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Danfo Diaries – 18.03.2025
Today, I priced my colleague’s 2009 Toyota and asked if he wanted to sell. He asked for 5.5 million naira. I told him not to bother. I trekked to the bus stop to board a bus home as he sped off ...
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The Many Sheges of House-hunting in Lagos
I met another agent on PropertyPro who uploaded cozy photos of apartments in Palmgrove and Ilupeju. I was sold and immediately paid the ₦10k he also charged, tell me why we ended up in a rowdy neig...
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Folake, When Will You Marry?
Folake, when will you marry? your friends trolled in the group chat because now they were married women, too high up to hang out with you anymore. They told you the problem was your lack of findin...
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From Natasha Akpoti to Sophia Egbueje: The Many Layers of Misogny
In fact, some of these women could have also been victims of sexual harassment and various forms of misogyny in politics. They may be attacking Natasha Akpoti because, in their minds, “Why does she...
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The Gospel of the Nigerian Police According to Sergeant Itoro
Itoro and his cohorts will wield their guns threateningly in his face daring him to challenge them further. Every grunt of frustration from the boy giving them a sadistic pleasure. They would engag...
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Maradona and Nigeria’s Never-Ending Dance of Despair and Deception
If Nigeria were a person, it would be a patient with Complex PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, and Dissociative Identity Disorder—constantly fluctuating between moments of hope and deep despair, stuck in cyc...
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Soft Underbelly: The House That Swallowed Them Whole
It started making sense—whenever Madam Annabelle came to announce that they were transferring some of the survivors to another facility to address their core needs—mental rehabilitation, physical t...
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Unmute Yourself: Speak, Take Up Space and Disrupt
We have adults who are emotionally stunted and function abysmally because their essence was smothered by the very people who should have nurtured it. It’s unfair and sad that speaking up and sharin...
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WHO KILLED BABA KAREEMU?
The day Kareem Kopiko’s mother’s scream interrupted the Adhan in the next compound—piercing through the soothing Muezzin’s voice calling forth to prayer—people stopped in their tracks as they rushe...
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Stupid Problems: The Everday Struggles That Hold Nigerians Back
To be Nigerian is to take abuse in stride. The way you shrug off the biting, spicy backhand from your grandmother as she admonishes you for some misdemeanor is the same way you have to accept Niger...
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When did Ready-To-Wear Fashion in Nigeria become a Luxury Scam?
Tell me why an Adekemi boubou is 500k naira? You are telling me the duchess silk that looks like what I can easily get for 500k naira? No intricate design, no special beading, but 500k naira becaus...
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Rediscovery: A Reflection on Blogging, Growth, and Self-Betrayal
I got angry at myself for not hitting the milestones I had set. Little did I know that life eventually rewards—either with time or not. And that’s okay. But I kept wondering why everything was taki...
Hi, my name is Kaothar
Hey, you. Welcome to my little corner of the internet, where I let my thoughts run around freely like a toddler high on sugar.
I’m a storyteller at heart, a strong believer in the power of self-expression. Whether I’m dissecting society through my eyes, sharing my experiences navigating life and its many surprises, or taking you through the colorful chaos in my head—chaos that gets translated into finely crafted stories—or simply maneuvering this unpredictable thing called life, one thing remains constant: I say it how I feel it. You sha won’t come to my house to coman beat me.
This blog—KanzahSays 2.0—is where I unpack thoughts and reflect on what it’s like to live far removed from where you call home, the magnificent city of Ilorin, in a chaotic place like Lagos.
So, stick around. Engage me. Disagree with me. Enjoy the ride.
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I am the type to twirl near the cliff of insanity just to see if I would take a tumble.What is sanity, anyway? Let me tell you a story. When I was in JSS3, my cousins...
The crazy thing about Mother Nature is, she absolutely doesn't give a damn. I never asked for this. I didn’t eat the fruit with Eve, but now I have to get severely...
There is something about liking someone, or as we tend to funkify it, crushing on someone. It’s when you sneak looks at someone, get fixated on that someone, notice...
I saw a naked man today, under the bridge on Gbagada Expressway. Bare, brown, hard butt, bathing in the full glare of the morning sun. Not a care in the world. Remember...
“Babe, how far nah?” Chinonso’s voice was always the same when she invited me to some random party we had no business attending. Simple, direct, and full of promise....
On Sunday, 18th of May, I forced myself out of the house, all thanks to my friend, Hameedah Adam, who kept reminding me that I mentioned wanting to attend her sister’s...
Like a Gorilla in a f*cking zoo, I am gawked at, Expected to perform tricks for treats... or their amusement. I married Maroof suddenly on the 28th of January 2024. It...
Nothing remains the same when you take a look in the mirror of time. And neither do we. I am not the same. I have changed. I have transformed—like a larva breaking free...
The Real Hotboy of Lagos is not to be confused with The Real Housewives of Lagos The Real Hotboy has no camera crew following him about as they show off his affluent...
Someone committed a grievous offence in my workplace yesterday. Think: a store attendant helping a customer to steal goods from the store. Exactly! It was a serious...
The cleaner who found Tejiri’s body was trembling as we waited for the police to arrive. Her face, raw and flushed from years of cheap bleaching creams, looked even...
"One day it will make sense" a random fortune teller told me last week before he added that I would meet somebody who would dash me money in the new week. I said,...
The day I met Amal, it felt like the heavens were smiling down on me. The weather was perfect. It was July 31st. The sun was bright, but it didn’t burn, and the rain...
It is in Nigeria you hear of someone who was a waiter at a lounge becoming a billionaire—poof!—just like that. In Nigeria, you could be selling bread today, and...
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Snapchat just reminded me of a memory from last March. It was a video of me in Medina Estate, Gbagada—dry-mouthed, sweat caked on my face, bemoaning a horrible showing...
And women settle… because of the fear of the unknown. Fear of not meeting desired prospects. Fear of loneliness. When they first came to you, they started with a simple...
This is my digital kingdom where I am the the queen bee and you are my audience and I hold court. Think of this as my personal amusement park of thoughts – a place to banter, some sprinkle of humour, and scream into the void from time to time about life’s daily frustrations!
This is a no holds back zone, like kids in a playroom where we can twirl around and forget the chaos outside.
Okay, that was an attempt to sound deep. Lol. Stick around and vibe with me.
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aothar is a Nigerian woman with a flair for words laced with humour and wit. She finds joy sharing her opinions on social issues and creating her own fantasy word where you can escape with her to through her stories. Kaothar would love to travel to the moon one day.