We all made a pact to remain virgins till we finished school.

Olaedo broke it the following semester.

Chenemi was the first to notice the weirdness with Olaedo when she went to room C14 which she shared with Doyin, their other friend. The silence and brusqueness wasn’t her. Olaedo was the one who would push for everyone to go study in the night class only to wander off and spend the whole time downloading the latest episodes of How to Get Away with Murder. So when Doyin offered Olaedo sharwama from the motion ground — courtesy of Fez cap, some guy in Engineering who had been chasing Doyin since 100 level — and Olaedo turned it down without even looking at it, Chenemi knew to sound the alarm.

“I am telling you, something is wrong with her!” Chenemi said, following Doyin into the kitchenette. Doyin carefully laid the sharwama on the chopping board and divided it into two equal parts. Chenemi left hers untouched and followed Doyin back into the room. Olaedo was staring at the ceiling with glassy eyes, saying nothing.

“Maybe it’s the GNS 301 result,” Doyin offered.

“Ehn, but she got an E now. Do you know the number of people that failed it outright?”

“Maybe she’s thinking about life.” Doyin shrugged and tried a different angle. “How far, Olaedo, have you finished downloading the complete season one of Jenifa’s Diary?”

Silence.

Doyin and Chenemi exchanged a look. Olaedo stared on.

“Maybe it is her village people” Doyin said quietly.

“Olaedo.” Doyin’s voice hardened. “Maybe we should call her mum and tell her Olaedo is moving mad.”

Olaedo burst into tears.

Chenemi rushed to sit beside her, cooing softly, while simultaneously eyeing Doyin up and down.

“Is this the time to be harsh and inconsiderate?”

“What is harsh about calling her parents?”

“You called her mad.”

“I said she was moving mad. There is a difference. Besides, how does staring at nothing like a mumu solve whatever problem she has?”

“And how does using disparaging—”

“You guys should shut up!” Olaedo wailed. “I am pregnant!”

She rolled dramatically off the bed onto the floor.

”Yeh!” Chenemi exclaimed. Doyin looked down at Olaedo with narrowed eyes, as if she were attempting an ultrasound with her gaze alone.

“How?” Doyin finally asked.

“Olaedo, how late are you?” Chenemi asked gently, rubbing her shoulders.

“Three weeks! I have never been that late in my life.” Olaedo sniffed loudly from the floor. “And I have been having headaches. There is always something in my throat. I also feel nauseous. I am pregnant ooooo!”

She wailed again and Chenemi immediately covered her mouth.

“Shhhh. Do you want the whole hostel to hear?”

Chenemi’s worry was not entirely selfless. She thought of Fisayo, their coursemate who had gotten pregnant in second year. The three of them had watched without intervening — and without joining in — as the girls in C block mocked Fisayo as she waddled away from the clothesline, her dried blouse folded over one arm. They had exchanged silent looks then. That was the agreement, put firmly into place since 100 level and being strenghtened by Fisayo’s ordeal.

“I really don’t understand the dramatics, sha,” Doyin said, crossing her arms. “Did you not know what would happen when you decided to taste the forbidden fruit?”

Olaedo sniffed and said nothing.

A knock came at the door. It was Chenemi’s roommate — her indomie was burning. Chenemi rushed out, and returned two minutes later smelling oddly like burnt popcorn.

“Have you even done a PT, Ola?” she said, slightly breathless. “You cannot conclude based on a missed period alone.”

Olaedo shook her head slowly before adding. ”Shey it is inside this room I will be pregnant? Will I be backing a baby to class?”

Chenemi held her hands to steady her, they were cold and clammy. Olaedo’s lips quivered as her friend tried to calm her disoriented nerves. 

“Shhhh. It’s okay. First, we get the PT. We see what it says, then we go from there.” Chenemi said.

“Go from where exactly?” Doyin said. “Is it not to decide whether she tells her mother immediately? And whether she wants to marry the boy, or she will just—”

“Yeeeeeeeeeeh!” Olaedo began to wail again, still on the floor.

“Stop shouting on our heads!” Doyin barked.

“Okay why are you also yelling at me?!” Olaedo sat up suddenly. “It didn’t even enter!”

Chenemi and Doyin stared at her.

“The— whatever. It didn’t enter me. It was hurting so bad so we stopped out of fear and then… now this.”

“And without protection?” Chenemi said.

Doyin hissed a long, slow mtcheeew.

”Guys, imagine me birthing a baby! They said it is very painful. What if the baby’s head is now big as well? Haaa.” Olaedo raised her arms in despair as she said this and Doyin stifled a laugh. 

Chenemi was already thinking ahead. “Okay. First things first. We go into town and buy a PT, but from a proper pharmacy so we won’t buy fake. I can go to Rotamedics for you asap. After the result, you’ll need to do a full STI panel. Honestly it’s just for your own peace of mind.” Chenemi added seeing the look of alarm on Olaedo’s face. “I think that covers the immediate steps.”

Olaedo’s face still wore a forlorn look while Doyin looked flustered as she chewed her lower lip.

“I’ll be back.” Chenemi left their room.

The air in the room felt more stifled without her. Doyin sat on the edge of the bed and looked at Olaedo, who had resumed her position of staring at nothing, though with less despair and more exhaustion this time.

“Eat something,” Doyin said.

“I’m not hungry.”

“That is not what I asked.” Doyin stood, went to the table, and came back with Chenemi’s half of the sharwama, still wrapped. She placed it in Olaedo’s hands.

Olaedo stared at it.

“Doyin, I cannot eat right now.”

“You look faint.”

“What will my father’s people say about my mum?” Olaedo burst into fresh tears again.

Doyin refused to budge and crossed her arms. “Olaedo, eat.”

Olaedo unwrapped the sharwama slowly. Sniffed it and shook her head.

“You want to starve the baby?” Doyin asked, very casually, not looking at her.

“Doyin!”

“I’m just saying.”

“Saying what? There is no baby! God forbid! God forbid!”

“Okay, okay.” Doyin was smiling now, just slightly, just at the corners. “Sha eat.”

Olaedo hissed and kept staring at the ceiling.

Chenemi came back forty minutes later, slightly sweaty, and produced the PT neatly wrapped in a white nylon from her bag.

She handed it to Olaedo. “Oya.”

Olaedo looked at the bag. Looked at both of them. “I don’t know how to use this thing.”

“Are you absolutely out of your mind? Check YouTube!”

“You will just pee on it nah.” Doyin and Chenemi spoke over themselves, both equally annoyed at Olaedo.

Olaedo took her phone and disappeared into the bathroom. They could hear the trickle of water. Chenemi and Doyin exchanged glances, each quietly hoping for the same thing.

Then the door flew open.

Olaedo burst in waving the PT above her head like a flag, hobbling and jumping at the same time in a way that should not have been physically possible, her face split into the widest, most unhinged grin either of them had ever seen.

“NOT PREGNANT!”

“Yes!” Chenemi hissed under her breath. Doyin’s tight shoulders slowly dropped.

Olaedo collapsed onto the bed dramatically, PT still in hand, staring at the ceiling with a peaceful expression now written all over her face.

A minute passed.

“Guys,” Olaedo said. “Let’s go and get suya at Lagos hostel. I will pay for everyone.”

Doyin lifted her face from her hands. “Now you have suddenly found your appetite.”

“Before nko? You don’t know how happy I am.”

“You will still need to run the STI…”

“Don’t worry, I will do everything. I am not pregnant and I feel great!” Olaedo sat up and pulled on her sandals. As she rummaged for her purse she turned to face her friends, her smile so wide it looked like it might crack her face.

“Guys, now that this has passed ehn, if I ever go near any boy again, let me go bald! Let me bend!”

They all laughed. Olaedo’s the loudest, desperate to convince herself of what she had just said.